Concert date turns into heartbreak; BF accuses GF of disrespectfully flirting with band. AITA? + UPDATE
"BF [27M] very upset/disappointed in me [20F] after concert."
Last night my bf and I went to a concert for one of my favorite bands. We got lucky bc right when they were opening the door to the venue we were at the front so of course we went all the way front and center in the crowd.
Everything was going great, the opener for the band played and we were both drinking a bit. Then the main band comes on and my boyfriend leaves almost immediately when people start moshing, literally about five minutes in. Important to note: the girls next to me were saying how the guitarist was cute and I laughed along with them, which my bofriend heard.
Alone now, I tried to text him all throughout the show to get him to come back/ask what’s wrong. Eventually he said he was up towards the right of the stage but I couldn’t find him.
He said he couldn’t find me but I hadn’t moved the entire time and was waving my arms around so he’d see me. Since I was so close I was able to get really good videos of the band, namely the guitarist literally right in front of me.
All throughout the show they would ask the crowd questions, and the girls next to me and I thought it would be funny to try to get him to hit the juul. He declined which was totally fine, but I videoed it and put it on my snap story along with other snaps throughout the concert.
Afterward, I actually got a chance to talk to him/take a pic with him as he was leaving the stage. It was kind of a short set so after their last song I went to go find my boyfriend, he was in the very very back at the bar.
He all of a sudden didn’t want to talk to me and asked if I wanted to stay and he would give me money for an Uber home. I said no it’s fine and we left. I was excited to show him all the videos I took since like I said they’re one of my favorite bands. I also showed him the juul video and picture of me meeting the guitarist.
Then on the way back home, he was super quiet and refused to talk to me (which sucked because we were stuck in traffic for a loooong time). Eventually he said he would tell me what’s going on, but he just dropped me off at my place, and when I asked about it, he said “I just want to go home.”
So I respect that, and he didnt text me until this morning telling me what was wrong: He was “really disappointed in me” for “saying with that girl that that guitarist guy was cute and trying to get him to hit your juul, I didn’t expect any of that or know you were like that. I wouldn’t have done the same to you.” Am I in the wrong here? I’m just really confused and upset about the whole thing.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's initial post:
I'm chuckling a little that he framed it as "disappointment," because it's actually jealousy, but disappointment sounds so much more morally upright. Imagine if the tables were turned; how would you feel?
You didn't really do anything morally wrong, but I do understand why what you did would upset your boyfriend - imagine meeting one of your bf's fave female celebrities somewhere.
He's gushing on and on to his friends about how hot she is, while you're right next to them, taking pics with her and stuff. It's not morally wrong, but jealousy-provoking. Not saying you should feel bad about it, just that his reaction is only human.
From your BF's point of view, you and these other girls were front and center and openly flirted with this guitarist in public. You did the Juul thing and videoed it, then you talked to the guy in person and took pictures and showed them to your BF.
This is why he's upset with you. It's a drag that he couldn't discuss it with you, but in his eyes you were openly flirting with this guitarist front and center on your date in public and even took videos and pictures of it.
The next day, the OP returned with an update.
We broke up. He said he doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t feel the same about him, and that I broke his trust and loyalty, not a quality he is looking for in a gf. We have been dating since November.
I tried telling him that he is blowing it out of proportion and that I believed we were strong and mature enough to make it work. He said last night made him realize we weren’t on the same page anymore, and that it was his fault for telling me how he felt about me (loved me) a couple months ago.
This stings super bad right now, especially because I have a class with him starting in two weeks lol. But I think it might be for the best. All the red flags of jealousy, immaturity, and insecurity that I didn’t even see, wow. Well, wish me luck, gonna go finish my shift even though Ive been bawling for the past hour.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Uh, no. I would expect this kind of behavior from a teenager, but a man that is almost 30 shouldn't act this way. 7 months is not that long. I'm glad he showed his true colors now. Run. Run as far away from this dude and anyone that reminds you of him from this point forward.
OP. You really dodged a bullet.
This guy sounds like a real piece of work.
Lmao. He got mad that his 20 year old girlfriend acted like an excited 20 year old?
Poor little manbaby.