'AITA if I tell my BFF and her husband what his friend did on their wedding night?'
"Should I tell my best friend and her husband, that his friend tried to come into my room on their wedding night?"
Hello everyone! I just got home from a destination wedding, and I find myself in quite a dilemma. My BFF got married to her now husband, the ceremony and the dinner was great, as well as the party.
At the dinner i was seated next to one of the grooms friends, who at first seemed like a normal nice person. I was the maid of honour, so he was asking me a lot of questions about me and the bride. I feel like he might have tried to get close to me, now that I think about it, and i honestly ended up avoiding him at some point.
Well, it became 2 am and time to close the party. I helped the couple pack their gifts, and then I headed to my room. I was one of the lucky people who got to have a solo room. Now it’s 2:30 am and i’m removing my makeup.
Suddenly i hear a knock on the door. I think it might be the bride or groom, so i open up. After all, my friends and their families were the only people staying at this small hotel, so i felt no eeriness about opening the door at 2:30. The grooms friend is standing there in the hallway, and asking me if he can sleep in my bed.
I’m shocked, so I ask “why” and he says that he can’t sleep in his own room. I ask him why again, but he won’t answer and says to me that he won’t try anything with me, which was alarming to my gut-feeling, because why would you need to announce that if you have pure intentions.. I refuse to let him in, and smack the door shut.
The next morning I was forced to sit next to him at breakfast, because all other seats were taken. He did not say a word to me, which i’m happy about. I didn’t want to ruin my best friends wedding night and morning, so i kept the incident to myself. But I don’t know if I should tell the couple. Should I say something now, or wait to after the honeymoon or not say it ever? AITA if I tell them the truth?
The bride, my best friend, would be disgusted with him, but won’t be able to do much, since he’s her husbands friend. The groom would either laugh it off and say that “he just likes me” or he would literally become extremely mad and feel disrespected by his friend.
Chances are that I won’t really see this person again, but I don’t know if I can keep this from my best friend, and I feel really disgusted and angry at this man, and the fact that he would be able to get away with it.
What do you think? AITA if she tells them? Should she wait until the honeymoon is over?
This is what commenters had to say:
RollingKatamari said:
Absolutely tell her, this is not something you should keep hidden. If your bestie knows, she can hopefully make sure you and this guy are never at the same event again.
frogmatix said:
Wait until after the honeymoon moon when they are back. It was an uncomfortable situation , however brining it up while they are enjoying their time together doesn't help anyone, or solve anything l. You can bring it up casual ones she's back. Oh my xyz a bit of a chancer he showed up at my room at 2.30 am creepy.
Just to let her know you won't be wanting to hang out in future, no matter how unlikely. No point raising it to her husband if he's going to brush it off , let your friend know to help avoid future encounters. If he had of forced his way into your room, then it would be a much more urgent situation
OP responded:
Yeah, i was thinking that if i was to bring it up, i would do it when the bride has time to see me in person and have 1 on 1 time with me, after all the wedding stuff, so there is no misunderstanding. But it’s just hard, because i don’t want to make things worse for no reason
Tiny_Custard_2318 said:
Why do you need to be 1:1. The guy tried to hook up and you said no. I would probably tell my friend but would not make it some huge deal.
OP responded:
Yeah, i was thinking that if i was to bring it up, i would do it when the bride has time to see me in person and have 1 on 1 time with me, after all the wedding stuff, so there is no misunderstanding. But it’s just hard, because i don’t want to make things worse for no reason
EzAeMy said:
I’m not sure why you would not tell your best friend? I’m not sure what he did other than shoot his shot and miss widely? He didn’t get aggressive or give you a hard time the next day? It doesn’t seem scandalous, just embarrassing for him.
nonchalantly_weird said:
A drunk guy hit on you, got rejected, then went away. OK. Tell your friend about the non-event.
Stunning-Study-4989 said:
This was inappropriate of him, given that you avoided him for the rest of the evening after dinner. But what is your goal with telling the bride and groom? He didn't become aggressive, it doesn't sound like he forced the issue (because you quite rightly shut the door), and he didn't try to double down at breakfast the next day.
He could have apologised at breakfast, but honestly he just sounds like a guy who wanted to hook up, got rejected and embarrassed himself. I think you would be overreacting by telling the bride and groom, because it doesn't sound like he did a great deal wrong here.