"AITA for not being the bigger person after my best friend and my boyfriend betrayed me?"

Lara (30F) and I (30F) met when we started university, and we clicked right away. We did everything together. She became like the sister I never had. I’d bring her home, and my parents loved her—so much that they treated her like one of their own. When Lara told me she was struggling financially, I didn’t think twice.

My parents run a small business, so I convinced them to give her a job. I thought I was helping my best friend. That’s how much I trusted her. Around the same time, I met Kyle (31M), who eventually became my boyfriend. From the very beginning, there was something between us. We had this instant chemistry, and what started as a connection grew into a beautiful relationship.

Kyle made me feel so loved, so seen. I thought we had something real and lasting, like we were building a future together. But there was always this something off with Lara. Instead of being happy for me, I noticed these small, subtle moments where it felt like she resented my happiness. I ignored it, thinking I was just imagining things because she was my closest friend.

A year into our friendship, Lara failed one of her classes and had to repeat the year, while I moved ahead. This meant I had to move to another city to continue my studies. Kyle also fell behind by a year because he started working and couldn’t manage both his job and his classes.

So, we started a long-distance relationship. It wasn’t easy, but at first, we made it work. We visited each other often, and things seemed fine, though it was hard being apart. Six months into the long distance, though, I started noticing a change in Kyle. He became distant less affectionate, less present. It was like he was slowly pulling away. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Naturally, I turned to Lara. I confided in her, pouring out my worries about Kyle, hoping for some support. Instead, she shocked me. She told me I should just break up with him that Kyle wasn’t good for me. Her words felt cold, almost calculated. That’s when the suspicions crept in. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on between them.

Kyle continued to grow more distant, and my gut feeling was screaming at me. Trust your instincts they don’t lie. Then one day, I saw something that confirmed all my worst fears: a photo of Kyle on Lara’s phone. I’m convinced she let me see it on purpose, like she wanted me to know. I confronted them both separately, and they denied everything at first.

But then Lara broke down, crying, and confessed the truth. She and Kyle had been seeing each other behind my back for three months. But that wasn’t even the worst part. Lara actually had the nerve to say that it was my fault. She told me that because I had moved to another city, I wasn’t “taking care of him” like I should’ve.

And then, she had the audacity to tell me I should be grateful she was “looking after” him for me. Can you imagine? My best friend and my boyfriend betraying me together and she had the gall to act like she was doing me a favor.

I cut both of them out of my life immediately. I couldn’t even look at them. But the story doesn’t end there. Three months later, Kyle moved to the city where I was living. We ended up at the same university, and I’d run into him all the time. Every time he saw me, Kyle would apologize, saying he had made a huge mistake, that he still loved me, that he wanted to get back together.

He was constantly looking for me, trying to reconnect, telling me over and over again how sorry he was. But by then, I was completely shattered. I had cried myself to sleep so many nights, feeling like my entire world had been ripped apart. I couldn’t trust either of them anymore.

The pain, the betrayal I felt like I had been stabbed in the back by the two people I cared about most. I was devastated. No matter how many times Kyle told me he loved me, it didn’t matter anymore. I was broken. The pain ran so deep, and it was all I could do to just keep going.

And then, as if fate hadn’t already twisted the knife enough, I found out a few months later that Lara was pregnant with Kyle’s child. Pregnant. I can’t even describe the level of disgust and devastation I felt. It was like a final blow. The betrayal was complete. To make it even more twisted, all our mutual friends cut ties with her too.

They finally saw what I had missed how jealous she had been of me all along. How toxic she really was. I couldn’t believe how blind I’d been, how stupid I felt for trusting her so completely.

In the end, despite everything, I wished them happiness. I had to. They deserved each other two people who had lied, cheated, and betrayed me behind my back. They were perfect for each other. I had no choice but to move on, even though it hurt like hell.

Years later, I ran into Lara again. She had the audacity to ask if we could be friends, claiming enough time had passed and that we should “be mature about it.” She even wanted me to meet her son. Should I be "mature" enough to forgive them for everything, or is it time to prioritize my own peace?

What do you think? AITA for not being "mature" enough to forgive them? This is what top commenters had to say:

Remarkable_Net8344 said:

You are definitely not in the wrong there’s no reason for you to reconsider being friends with ether one of them

OP responded:

Petty me thinks you could go with a “oh I’m not as mature as you, guess you’re level of maturity comes from screwing your besties bf behind their back and getting knocked up. My level comes from being a decent person.” Soz we’re not at the same stage but wish you and kid well xx

Practical_Gur_412 said:

Be MATURE about it? How about be mature and don’t destroy your best friend’s relationship while simultaneously betraying your friendship? Some people are so blind to their actions and will never understand how it affects other people. Sister you will find someone worthy of your trust and love, don’t let these fools ruin your peace.

Nutty_Squirrels said:

No way would I want to be “friends” with her again. She showed you who she was.

Difficult-Bus-6026 said:

NTA. Your history with these two people was very negative and if it still causes you pain when you think about them, then there is nothing to be gained from engaging with them more than you have to.

CarrotofInsanity said:

I hope your parents FIRED LARA when they found out what she did to you.

And OP responded:

Yes, they fired her even before I found out she was screwing my boyfriend! She was actually trying to create problems between my parents and me. Looking back, I don’t think she was really doing her job properly either.

She later shared this update to her post:

I’ve seen a lot of people asking if Kyle and Lara are still together, and the answer is… I honestly don’t know. Some mutual friends told me once that Kyle never really considered Lara his “official” partner, and that he thinks she got pregnant to trap him.

According to them, Kyle doesn’t post anything on social media about her just the child, who must be around 3 years old now. Meanwhile, she always uploads pictures of the three of them together.

As for my relationship with her, there isn’t one. I haven’t spoken to Lara in years. The last time I saw her was by accident I bumped into her at a pharmacy. When she saw me, she acted all excited and tried to hug me. It was so uncomfortable. I pretended I was on the phone just to avoid talking to her.