'AITA for blowing up at my roommate for changing plans suddenly because she 'disapproves' of an unusual fraternity event?'
"AITA for blowing up at my roommate for changing plans suddenly because she 'disapproves' of an unusual fraternity event?"
dublygo
I (21f) live in off-campus apartments with my roommate and good friend (21f). This coming Saturday we've made plans to go on a trip and hang out most of the day. I told her we'd need to stop by this fraternity house near-campus at one point for just a short while for an "event" I was invited to, and she said no problem. It's on the way between our other plans that day so it worked out perfectly.
Then last night she asked what the fraternity event was, and I told her it was a "dog breath competition." Which I know sounds weird. This fraternity has apparently been having this contest annually for the past few years of who could endure the smell of their dogs' breath (big, friendly, like to pant) the longest (without gagging or breathing through mouth).
A friend in the fraternity invited me this year and I thought I'd give it a try. (Note there's nothing really wrong with the dogs, I guess they just get into gross stuff and one of them is old. so no "cruelty" comments, that's not my roommate's concern at all).
She surprisingly was quite upset and said "that's absolutely disgusting, why would you even do that, I won't let you back in my car after 'competing' in that you'll make it reek."
I said huh, we already have plans the whole day. I said it was just a funny little thing I got invited to by a friend and thought I'd check out. Besides, they have a $200 prize for first place this year, and I was told last year's winner lasted 4 mins 21 seconds.
So I just have to smell dog breath for 4-5 minutes and make $200, how could I pass that up? And why would I stink after, nothing would physically get on me except maybe the drool and I'd wash that off. She said "you never even had a dog growing up.
You have absolutely 0 chance to win and are just going to lose the entry fee and smell gross after." I'm annoyed that she wants to change up all our plans we agreed to just because she doesn't approve of what the fraternity event is.
I don't think the concern that I would stink after is founded and she's just reacting out of personal disgust for something she doesn't even have to do. I ended up getting really mad and yelling at her about it and now our plans fell through. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
marbiter01123581321
Soft YTA - There’s no way this would be a quick stop. This sounds like an entire afternoon event. Regardless, had you been up front with why you wanted to stop, I doubt she would have agreed.
Aristol727
YTA. Not the nastiest frat party theme I've ever heard, but it's up there. Like, why? That aside, you want a free uber to a tasteless frat party in the middle of a day you are ostensibly hanging out with your friend - a friend who was neither invited nor interested.
An event that, even by your description will not be a "quick stop" unless you go first, then immediately lose. And even then, it sounds like you'd rather go to the party than hang out with her, otherwise you wouldn't make it this big a deal.
If you had any respect for your friend's time or your time together, you could've rescheduled or said, "Hey I really want to go to this party in the afternoon, do you want to just do dinner after instead?" But instead, you blew up at your friend for not wanting you to change the plans on her with a little bait and switch. Have fun huffing dog breath.
Irishwol
If the dog's breath is that bad then yes, there is a valid health concern and it needs to see a vet. Tooth decay is the main reason for this in older dogs. Animals aren't toys or props. Don't make the poor, old dog perform like that.
Apart from anything else, if he is in pain and gets fed up with a series of chuckleclucks shoving their faces up to his (which is a threat gesture btw) someone could get bitten.
So, yes, that is another concern. And your roommate isn't doing what you claimed in the title. At all. She thinks it's gross, because, well, it is. (That's the whole point of the 'event'.)
And she didn't want you stinking up her car after it, because, well, you will stink. You might not be able to smell it after enduring the full blast straight from the animal's mouth but it absolutely will be hanging round you after on your clothes and your hair. YTA.
thewineyourewith
YTA for being misleading with your friend. You presented it like you want to quickly pop in and say hi. Not that you’re participating in a competition. This event is going to take hours, it will consume the better part of your day, and there’s a good chance you won’t have time for the rest of your plans.
You’re pressuring your friend into sitting around - sober, since she’s driving - a gross drunken frat contest instead of doing what you’d planned to do. That’s not what she agreed to and you know it.
peakingturtle
YTA- your friend has every right to change their mind if they don’t want you smelling like a smelly dog in their car. You have every right to be annoyed and maybe a bit angry at her but you cross the line by “blowing up on her.”
She was going to take you to what she thought was a normal fraternity event and then she found out it was something that could be potentially smelly and could potentially get her car dirty/ smelly and changed her mind.