'AITA for booking my son an eye exam just to settle an argument?' 'My MIL was an eye nurse.'

"AITA for booking my son an eye exam just to settle an argument?"

I (40) year old man, have booked my son (under 10) a meeting with an eye doctor to settle an argument. Some context my mother in law was once an eye nurse, she worked in the industry for ages and I am sure for everyone else other than family her opinion would be valid.....

However, she is also stubborn, a liar and one of those people who is never "wrong". You can come at her with facts and she will just "oh well, If it was me...blah blah blah" So fast forward to my son. The school did an eye exam and sent him home with a slip saying we should get his eyes checked.

So off to the mall eye place I go and get his eyes tested, they come back with a -1.6. They did multiple tests, drops, scans etc and a few weeks later, boom. He has glasses. Fast forward a few more weeks and almost everything the MIL takes the kids she sneakily ensures my son doesn't have his glasses.

She has even said on a few occasions "oh, you don't need those" What makes it worse is it bleeds over to my partner, she has started getting "relaxed" with my sons glasses and on occasions has taken him out some mornings without his glasses.

I can't help but shake the feeling that the MIL and on some level my partner are hurt that I just acted and got him glasses. For some more context my other son also has had glasses and has worn them for ages so as soon as the other sons diagnosis came in I just acted as if no big deal.

So here I find myself at the position that I want to sit down with my partner and an independent eye doctor and get their view if all this "glasses on, glasses off" things are hurting his eyes or not. Thoughts?

Just some added context, -1.5 means he is short-sighted and therefore can see his writing but stuff on the board could be fuzzy.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

pageofsomethingmaybe said:

NTA, your son was already tested and needs glasses, and your wife and MIL aren't accepting that. You're right to set up a new eye exam to settle the argument because the argument needs to be settled. Does your insurance cover it, and when was the last eye exam? You all should be getting examined yearly anyway if your insurance covers it.

PonderingLife78 said:

NTA. She may not listen to the doctor though. Or may be mad that you are spending money to school her in this. But you do need to get on the same page as your wife. I take it that neither of you wear glasses.

That prescription is small enough that he could get by without them BUT it will strain his eyes. They could get worse faster. He probably has a low grade headache if he leaves them off for more than a couple hours.

That’s a near-sighted prescription, so he probably doesn’t need them to read a book, but it would help him see the white board at the front of his classroom. It’ll help him track a baseball to catch. On the other hand, the prescription is big enough that he’d be required to wear them to drive a car.

Hopefully your wife can understand the difference they’ll make. If she is hesitating because it’s an inconvenience to her or she thinks he’ll be teased, she needs to get over it. Don’t let your wife and MIL ruin this for your son. I have the same prescription and I won’t leave the house without my glasses. They just make life so much easier.

CrabbiestAsp said:

NTA. Your MIL and wife should be encouraging him to wear his glasses so his vision doesn't deteriorate quicker. They are doing him a huge disservice by telling him he doesn't need them. I actually had my 8yo at the optometrist yesterday. She is getting glasses for the first time. Our dr said it's really important to encourage kids to wear their glasses properly to keep their vision at the best it can be.

SpreadDependent8805 said:

Nta. I needed glasses starting in 4th grade. I went from decent eyesight to “she shouldn’t be allowed on the street alone without glasses/contacts." Mine are now in the -7 range.

I once rode a bike towards a parked white car (no glasses. Was at my gma’s and my contacts had spots) just to find that when I got closer to it, that it was a fully marked MOVING police car. Eyes can go south quick. Make sure he wears his glasses.

hadMcDofordinner said:

Talk to your child directly at the doctor's appointment. Calmly encourage him to be in charge of his glasses. Tell him that no one should expect him to go anywhere without them and that he has the right to stop everything, go get his glasses, and then continue whatever is going on.

Tell him he has the right to calmly remind people that he needs/wants his glasses, no matter who he is with. NTA But also tell him that if he forgets once in a while, it's ok. And get him a second pair to make it easier for him to always have one pair handy.

mjot_007 said:

NTA. Not wearing his glasses will make his eyesight worse, and worsen more quickly than if he wore them. They’ve done studies on this. Not wearing glasses makes your eye muscles work harder and your eye will elongate to compensate...

...but that just speeds up the process and worsens to misalignment inside the eye that causes shortsightedness. So if your MIL keeps this up she’s actually thwarting her own goal of making him just tough it out and not need them.