AITA, I bought my gf a Dyson Airwrap now she’s mad.
AITA, My gf and I have been dating for 3 years. We both work at the same job and socialize lots with other people at work. We started dating when we were both lower levels but I’ve since jumped a few tiers at work. She’s been dropping hints of an airwrap.
I earn good money and this last week have been doing higher duties at work and got a pay rise for the week so I thought I would splurge.
Here’s the dilemma, all the Dysons look the same to me and my boy eyes. So I asked one of the girls from our work which one to get.
Now my gf is mad because it’s embarrassing having this other person know how much I’m spending; it gives the appearance that my gf is only dating me for my money (friends who have known we dated before hand know this to be false); and I asked not my gfs best friend (who I get along with well enough but not super well, and also works at our work).
She’s gotten mad at me and told me all of these things and I just not sure if I have crossed a line? AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Theinevitablesecond wrote:
NTA - at first, I thought this post was going to say something like "my girlfriend is mad I spent all this money getting this thing for her" but honestly this is worse. Your girlfriend is overreacting, I seriously doubt that anyone is thinking that she's just with you for the money based on this one thing.
Elegant_Bluebird_460 wrote:
NTA. Your girlfriend is having an insecurity issue, caring about appearances and impressions. No one is thinking what she's worried about though. You are getting her a gift, that's a nice thing. Anyone that would read further into that has their own issues.
I do worry though that she goes to this place in her head. Either she's heard comments or she is projecting her own feelings onto others. You need to seriously sit down with her and ask why she is jumping to these wild places.
AXW3555 wrote:
NTA. I'm a chronic overthinker, and even I think she's overthinking it. You got her a nice, expensive present with what amounted to a bonus (as it sounds like you're not getting this pay regularly). You talked to someone so that you'd get the right one. And instead of being grateful, she's worried about some woman you work with knowing that you got her a nice present?
There's either missing information here or your GF needs to stop and think "why am I more worried about what some woman thinks, why am I assuming it's negative, and why was I thinking about that instead of 'omg, my BF listened to me, put effort in and spent his extra money on me instead of himself'?
HotelOk9725 wrote:
This is ridiculously ungrateful behaviour from your gf. If that’s the way she feels take it back and get a full refund. She can buy one for herself when she can afford it.
You were being incredibly generous and it was thoughtful of you to get advice from your colleagues as to which one to choose. You are NTA here.
Civil-Pop4129 wrote:
This is the most first world problem that has ever first worlded!
So much drama. NTA!
disgruntledpenguin58 wrote:
If your girlfriend is getting bent because someone knows what you bought her, I'd be reevaluating the relationship. Creating drama instead of being grateful that you took the time and effort to get the correct item is concerning to me.
swillshop wrote:
NTA - you did a nice thing and went the extra mile to make sure you got the desired item. GF's best friend (1) will know that you gifted gf an airwrap and will know how much it costs and (2) - and more importantly - should know, like, and respect your gf well enough that she wouldn't make such a negative assumption about gf.
Your gf's reaction seems pretty off. The question for you is why she's having it. The reasons make a big difference to how you respond/view the relationship. She may have deep and complex feelings surrounding her status at work relative to yours (and/or issues with this 'bff' from work).
That doesn't make her an AH. It is something she needs to be able to acknowledge and the two of you need to be able to discuss and work through. If this reaction is consistent with gf's general character, then you have to ask if that's an aspect of her nature you are willing to live with.
zzzstinky wrote:
NTA. If she wants to keep your finances private then she should be prepared to look for and pick her own gifts out bc this kinda ridiculous to be upset about. I doubt people will see you spending on ur gf and think “damn maybe I should ask for money.”
Immediate-Draw-724 wrote:
Lol NTA in the slightest! I love telling everyone what my bf does for me. Its important that we share all the good that comes with relationships and sometimes that looks like sharing what you do for each other.
I equally go over all the things and surprises I do for my bf because its fun and I love sharing it. Don’t let this stop you from doing more things for your gf, she’s a lucky gal, Dysons are not cheap! She may have other concerns that you may want to check in with her about.
Art_1922 wrote:
NTA. See if validating her and telling her you understand her insecurities helps. If that doesn’t help and she doesn’t move on and appreciate the gift I would talk to her about how that makes you feel.