'AITA for agreeing to be a bouncer at my cousin's child-free wedding?'
"AITA for agreeing to be a bouncer at my cousin's child-free wedding?"
Hey guys. My little cousin (21f) got married and in our families weddings are always a huge affair. My cousin and her fiancé have decided they are going to have a small wedding with only adults as well as no plus ones (unless you're married) due to not having the funds to accommodate everyone and their children.
I got a call from my cousin a couple of weeks ago asking me if I would be willing to run security at her wedding instead of being a guest because I am a licensed security guard.
Turns out, all our family members she invited said they are going to bring their children anyway and she is absolutely upset. The venue doesn't even allow anybody under 21 and she explained that, but nobody cares
I agreed without even a second thought because somebody needs to make sure her wedding goes the she wants it to. Especially if she wants to pay me and my coworker to make sure I have back up.
Cut to the day of the wedding....
ABSOLUTE. CHAOS.
Our family members showed up with their kids and, holy guacamole, it was a colossal circus. They way I was screamed at and threaten with violence because we denied family members with children in tow has me go no contact with about 30 percent of the family now. My cousin threw her clutch at me for Pete's sake.
The venue coordinator had to threaten to call the police to get everyone under control. Everybody with kids left and the wedding was beautiful. I'd never seen my cousin look so beautiful and happy.
My phones been blowing up all day and yesterday since fmwith texts and calls from my family members saying I had no right to keep them from attending a family affair and that the kids deserve to be apart of things too. That as a mother I should've understood them and let the children in. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. Nope. You did what you were hired to do. Family with kids should have respected the bride and groom.
The venue coordinator had to threaten to call the police because some guests who couldn’t have their kids attend the wedding became so threatening. You need to find yourself a new family. These folks are definitely insane.
NTA and good for you for helping her to have a special day. But your family sounds like a nightmare and it’ll take a long time for them to forgive you for this. People who were warned that no children were allowed and the venue was not child friendly and still brought their kids … yeah, they’re AH. Good luck with them in the future.
Babygirl_8675309 (OP)
They weren't going to even be allowed by the venue anyway. Me and my coworker explain jt but they didn't listen until the venue coordinator told them nobody under 22 is allowed on the property and she'd be calling the police if they didn't leave.
Nah, you're not. They are the AH. Simple idiot instructions - no kids. Anyone who didn't listen was being selfish and inconsiderate! Forget em, you did good!
NTA. My bestie got married in a bar's (very nice) upstairs event room where the bar's bouncers would card all guests at the door specifically to avoid this kind of drama.
NTA. Sounds like much of your family is, though. Bringing kids to a wedding, after explicitly told not to, at a venue they aren't even allowed into is insane. Your cousin asking you to stand in the way of this train wreck, which she clearly knew was coming, instead of hiring someone unrelated, is also being an AH.
Babygirl_8675309 (OP)
If she would've told me she was hiring outside security I would've insisted on my services.
The day wasnt about them or their crotch goblins so they lost their minds. These people really need to get a grip, your child is only special to YOU. NTA.
Babygirl_8675309 (OP)
As a mom, I don't get it at all.
My kids were at home.
If the venue says no kids under 21…they would have had to been kicked out either way. Honestly, having the police there would have made more sense…now you’re in the crossfire for doing what was right for your cousin's big day.
Then bottom line is, don’t even bother inviting family that is so disrespectful and unhinged at the idea of calling a bloody babysitter for important events like this.
NTA. You did God’s work to protect the wedding. The venue could have shut down the whole thing if kids had been allowed in. Any family member who screamed, yelled, or made a fuss should be pointed out for YEARS an example of how NOT to act at a wedding and made fun of. You done good!
NTA. No commentary on the situation (others have it covered) but I will say I've been watching a ton of Top Gear and when you said your cousin "threw her clutch at you" it took a bit for me to remember clutch as in purse and not that she ripped off part of her car 🤣
NTA. They got told no kids so they shouldn’t be mad when it’s actually no kids. They put themselves in that situation by not listening and bringing their kids anyway. Don’t let them bully you into thinking you were wrong. If you want to apologize and make up with them regardless, that’s your choice but you were in the right.
And to the commenters saying you should’ve seen that coming, kind of but not really. You couldn’t have known how many people actually showed up with kids and how overly mad they would be. I mean your fam was throwing trash at you 🤦♀️