"AITA for boycotting my family’s Christmas party?"
I have a family that includes my mom, two adult sisters, and their kids. These kids range from 3-15 and my sisters are late 30s, I’m in my 20s with no kids. Both my sisters work in the medical field, and I’m a public service worker.
One of my sisters has to work the night of Christmas Eve when we would usually get together and play games as a family. But because my sister works and will barely even make it to Christmas this year they moved it to the weekend before.
They made this decision before thanksgiving without telling me, or asking me to take off for work. I had also received a message from my work letting me know that they cannot grant the leave time to the people who have asked for it in the two weeks before and during Christmas. So even if they had told me my work wouldn’t have approved the weekend off.
Now I work from Friday to Monday at my job. The entire weekend. But I get 4 days off for Christmas. So I will be able to attend Christmas. And will be hanging out with my family during the actual holiday.
But because I work the entirety of the weekend and couldn’t get it off, my family (particularly my mother and one of my sisters) has been harassing me about calling off that Saturday and just driving about 2 hours away from where I work to spend one random evening playing games with them, driving back the two hours the next day to still go to my job.
I’ve been very adamant about not just calling off, but also that particular Saturday they want me to call off, I will be the only worker on shift that has keys and a security code to the building that day. And if I call off there’s a chance my work won’t be able to open at all.
My family argues it’s one day. And that calling out suddenly on Saturday won’t kill me. I think if it’s so easy, why doesn’t my sister call off on Christmas? Why is my job suddenly not as important as theirs is?
Is it really so bad that I’m choosing to work instead of putting myself through the stress of 4 hours of driving, screaming children, and the constant nagging of my family for one evening of games when I’ll be there for 3 days for Christmas two days later?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
SalisburyWitch said:
NTA. Tell your mother that as a key holder, you cannot call out and since they know you asked, if you call out now, you’ll lose your job. The time to tell you to get the time off was when they decided to organize it. Tell them too, that you are dismayed that they adapted for your sister but not for you.
So, you won’t be there. Let them know that your employer puts a lot of trust in you because you’re reliable, and calling out as a key holder is not an option unless they are planning to pay for your life when they cause you to be fired.
NTA. Your family are not respecting your job. It also sounds like terrible work ethic. Do they think calling in last minute for untrue reasons is a good way to conduct business ever? Like wtf? What if this resulted in you losing your job? Wild behaviour from your mother asking this of you
000-Hotaru_Tomoe said:
NTA you explained in advance why you can't have that day off, and your family decided to ignore it.
Gr1ck said:
NTA. Your fam is for not including you in the planning.
Moder_Svea said:
NTA. Tell your mother that you thought she had raised you better than this!
Ok-Butterscotch-6708 said:
NTA. Tell your mother that calling out of work just to play games with family shows lack of character and responsibility. What kind of mother encourages that?
simplyexistingnow said:
NTA. Don't call off. Your family isn't going to pay your bills if you get fired or let go. Like you said if it's so easy then your sister should have called off of work and the game day should happened on the day it was supposed to.