'My boyfriend got another woman’s number. Am I overreacting?' + SCREENSHOT
"My boyfriend got another woman’s number. Am I overreacting?"
Am I over reacting that my (24F) boyfriend, jack (26M) got another woman’s number when he went to the grocery store? For some background, jack and I have been together off and on for nearly 6 years.
We have a 2 year old child together. We’ve been off and on because he’s cheated on me on multiple different occasions. We split after about 3 years because he cheated. I, stupidly, hooked up with him while split and ended up pregnant. Decided to try and work that out, got cheated on while pregnant, and then again after our child was about 2 months old.
I left him because he introduced our child to his side piece, who knew about me. I stayed with family for a while and ended up moving back in with him for the financial/physical help from him. He was angry when I left him and decided that if he refused to help me with baby, I’d have to come back and I’m not proud to admit that it worked.
Now, I’ve been back together with him roughly a year, he’s been doing better. It's really the bare minimum in a relationship, which is not cheating. He’s a great father to our child.
The other night, I woke up in the middle of the night and had a gut feeling to check his phone, so I did. When I unlocked it he had an unsaved number in his phone. I looked through the messages, they had began messaging a few days before.
There wasn’t anything crazy in there, in my opinion a little bit of flirting but not out right cheating. There was comments of the woman saying “oh my goodness it’s past my bedtime, you’re keeping me up all night” and him responding“don’t go to sleep, stay up with me” and him teasing her about “having a big forehead” and having her send him a comparison photo of how many fingers big her forehead was.
As I said, nothing crazy, but enough to know what this is the beginning of. I messaged the woman from my phone, which I will include a screenshot of those messages.
Here is the screenshot provided by the OP.
She basically said “we exchanged numbers, he mentioned he had a child, but didn’t mention a girlfriend” and she said she asked him if he was married which he said no to. We aren’t married but when he introduces me to other men, he introduces me as his wife.
When I confronted him, he claimed he never claimed to be single and that he should be allowed to have female friends. He’s upset and claims to be “walking on egg shells around me” I’m upset and am currently trying to get my own apartment. He’s very upset I’m considering leaving. So, do you guys think I’m over reacting?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
“We’ve been off and on because he’s cheated on me on multiple different occasions.” At this point either except he’s a cheater and will keep cheating or leave.
As someone that stayed through bs for a a long time, this is harsh but true. No point in coming to Reddit if you’re just gonna stay.
Yeah it sucks but some folks gotta learn the hard way… it’s never going to get better with this guy and he will end up putting OPs sexual health in jeopardy, ruining her self esteem, taking energy and joy that belong to her child… the whole thing. Kids suffer when stuck in instability like this…All for the love of a man who doesn’t even like you.
You know the answer to this. He’s a serial cheater. This will not stop. Leave him while you are young. Life is short!
I’m sorry, I stoped reading at “he cheated on me on multiple different occasions.”
You know the answer, girl.
Seriously, why are you asking strangers when he has cheated on you numerous times and continues to do so. Accept this as your life or move on, you shouldn't need strangers to tell you that.
Honestly, I hope people like this know that they’re going to break up with the person, they just want us to affirm that decision. Because I feel like the internet is getting tired of “he was so obviously a POS so what should I do????” type stories.
Most people don’t want to self reflect, usually these post aren’t looking for someone to point out the obvious, but to find another justification to continue making the easy yet painful choice. Similar to how most people only want someone to listen and empathize vs actually problem solve their situation. Humans are very peculiar creatures.
NOR. In fact, you're massively UNDERreacting if you stay with this dude.
I stopped at he cheated before and you took him back. He has no incentive to change because you've shown him you're willing to put up with it. Leave him for good or live with a cheater, those are your options.
You’ll be a lot happier if you let him go. This won’t stop. End amicable if possible, get a lawyer figure out custody and visitation and do what’s best for the kid.
Please get some self-respect, for your child, and leave this man who has cheated on you no less than 3 times but realistically probably more and just didn’t get caught.
info: you said he has "cheated on me on multiple different occasions", "got cheated on while pregnant, and then again after our child was about 2 months old", so why would you go back expecting anything different?
People are so delusional by love or whatever it is they keep coming back to their baby daddy.
Oh kid you are letting him do this to you every time you take him back. He knows you will take him back so why change? Do yourself a favor and end this for good and have some respect for yourself.
Do you have any self respect at all? are you just looking for someone to tell you what you already know and give you the courage to leave for good? you know the answer, and only you can make that decision. I know you're not naive because we're the same age. please just love yourself.
Abject-Current2580 (OP)
I’m going to tour and apply for an apartment today.
And responding to all of the “why have you stayed” comments. I haven’t been finically stable enough to live on my own.
Staying with family did not work out. I’m currently going to school for my bachelors degree and my plan was to dip out once I got that degree. I’m tired of pretending with him but just wanted I guess validation that I’m not over reacting by telling him I’m going to leave.