'AITA for walking out of dinner after my boyfriend humiliated me in front of his family over my cooking?'
"AITA for walking out of dinner after my boyfriend humiliated me in front of his family over my cooking?"
WhisperingOceans3
I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for about a year now. We get along well most of the time, but something happened last weekend that’s really been bothering me. We went over to his parents' house for dinner, and ever since, things have been… awkward.
A bit of backstory: I love cooking. I’m not a professional by any means, but it’s something I’m passionate about and take pride in. My boyfriend knows this, but he’s constantly comparing my cooking to his mom’s, especially when it comes to her lasagna. I’ve heard about this lasagna more times than I can count.
So before we leave for his parents' house, he makes this offhand comment: “Maybe you’ll finally learn how to make lasagna properly tonight. Yours could definitely use some improvement.” I tried to laugh it off, but honestly, it hurt my feelings. Still, I brushed it aside because I didn’t want to start anything before dinner.
We get to his parents' place, and as expected, his mom’s lasagna is the star of the meal. Everyone is raving about it, and of course, my boyfriend jumps in to say, “Oh man, this is real lasagna. OP tried making it once, but let’s just say, there’s a reason we’re all here eating my mom’s tonight.”
Everyone laughed. I felt embarrassed but kept smiling to avoid making things awkward. Then he kept going, saying that I burned the sauce (I didn’t) and that maybe I should just leave lasagna to the experts.
His family was cracking up, and I sat there, trying not to lose it. It wasn’t just a joke to me—it felt like he was putting me down, especially in front of his family, who I’m still trying to make a good impression with.
I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I excused myself from the table and went to sit in the car. A few minutes later, my boyfriend comes out, looking confused, and asks why I left.
I told him how hurt I was by his comments, and instead of apologizing, he said I was “overreacting” and that it was “just a joke.” He said I need to stop being so sensitive and learn to take a joke, especially around his family.
I was upset and told him that if he thought embarrassing me in front of his family was funny, maybe he should just date his mom’s cooking instead. Now that didn’t go over well. He got angry and accused me of ruining the night.
Since then, we’ve barely spoken, and he’s waiting for me to apologize, but I feel like he should be the one apologizing. So now I’m wondering, did I take it too far? Was I being overly sensitive, or was I right to walk out after being embarrassed like that? AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
MizWhatsit
You only wasted a year with this loser. Drop this Mama’s Boy like bad habit and find someone better. NTA.
waterlilyandmoon
Yes please. Walk out of the relationship also. He is not gonna cut the cord. NTA. But don't stay.
WildflowerMuse
NTA. Your boyfriend’s “joke” sounds more like a way to put you down in front of his family. If he can’t respect you in that situation, then maybe he’s the one who needs to rethink his behavior, not you.
kaylaroyxo
Yeah, NTA. Your boyfriend's "jokes" at dinner weren’t funny—they were hurtful and disrespectful, especially since he embarrassed you in front of his family. It’s understandable that you felt upset, and walking out was a reasonable response.
Instead of acknowledging your feelings, he dismissed them, which isn’t fair. You’re not being overly sensitive; you just want to be treated with respect. He should be the one apologizing, not expecting you to.
HarveySnake
Your partner is supposed to lift you up not tear you down. He was intentionally hurting your feelings, cutting you down, to make him the "life of the party" and center of attention.
When you told him he hurt your feelings he attempted to both justify what he did as OK and dismiss you in the process. This is called emotional abuse. GET RID OF THIS GARBAGE. NTA.
SomeGuyInTheUK
Frankly, this is appalling behaviour. He didnt even do something like make a one off bad taste joke without thinking about it, he put you down, and he keeps putting you down, then he doe sit in front of his family (who warning signs, didnt tell him to STFU) and then he (I know its overused but its appropriate here) gaslit you by making it your fault.
SilverSkies891
Girl, I would’ve walked out too! It’s not being “too sensitive” when your partner keeps dragging you in front of other people. You deserve better than to be the punchline of his jokes.
cindykateee
NTA. Your boyfriend's behavior was not only disrespectful and hurtful, but also immature. It's one thing to make a lighthearted joke, but continuously belittling you and your cooking in front of his family is not okay. He owes you an apology, and you should not apologize for standing up for yourself. Maybe next time he should leave the jokes to the actual experts.
petitexcatyx
NTA. If he’s gonna put you down in front of his family like that, he deserves to sit there eating his mom's lasagna alone. It’s not about being "sensitive," it’s about basic respect. He’s acting like a jerk and owes you an apology, not the other way around.
dr_lucia
NTA. He needs to learn ways to compliment his mom without putting you down. And also: no it's not a joke to criticize someone endlessly in a social function. He's not Phillis Diller doing a stand up act.
If he won't stop using you as the butt of his joke, you should seriously consider leaving him. If he's really clever and funny, I'm sure he can figure out how to make jokes at someone else's expense. He'll discover they "over react" too-- but at least it won't be you. Once that happens, he can figure out how to do joke at no one else's expense.