'My boyfriend keeps stealing from me so I canceled his flight. AITA?'

"My boyfriend keeps stealing from me so I canceled his flight. AITA?"

For context: I’ve been with my bf for almost 4 years and we have a 3 year old son. His parents are squatters so he’s been unhoused in and out his whole life. (This will be relevant later.)

I’m a veteran and I have 100% disability so I get checks every month and this is my main source of income. I recently bought a house a year ago and the mortgage is a little high so I decided to go to college to earn extra income and to not be so financially strained.

I’m very grateful that I served or else I wouldn’t have had this amazing opportunity to be a SAHM while going to school. My bf always throws it in my face that he never had the opportunities like me and he wishes he can sit at home and get checks. But I always remind him of the mental and physical stress I went through plus he had the same opportunity to join just like me back when we were 18 years old.

So anyways, we’re supposed to fly out to a wedding one week from now. He’s asked a couple of times if we can cancel the trip due to financial reasons on his part, but I told him I already booked everything in advance and it’s definitely not fair to the bride if I cancel one week before.

He keeps complaining that he doesn’t get paid enough at his job and that he’s going to look for a new one, but hasn’t put in any effort to do so. I’m out of town visiting my mom this weekend and when I went to make a purchase, my card declined. My card never gets declined and I’m usually good with budgeting. I go onto my app and I couldn’t believe what I saw.

There was multiple purchases for his Steam account that racked up to $90! That really pissed me off because he was late on his half of the mortgage and I was $1000 short from him. He finally gave me the money a couple days ago, but I’m still waiting for it to hit my account.

Because I’m still waiting for it and I had to pay other bills, my account got overdrafted, and he overdrafted it even more by using my card without telling me. He always tells me when he uses my card for game purchases, even though I’ve told him multiple times not to use my card because he earns his own money.

I called him today and he said he didn’t know he used my card even though I have my card with me so he must’ve saved the numbers in his phone. I told him “how was that even possible if I have my card with me and it’s a completely different color than yours?” All he said was “I’m sorry I won’t use your card anymore.”

So I go back into my statements and I dig even further and turns out he’s been using my card for breakfast purchases, games, the grocery store without even telling me. Now don’t get me wrong...

The times when he does ask permission to use my card he’s usually good about paying me back, but some of these purchases are bigger and he definitely has been underpaying me from what he told me the original prices were.

This is the first time I’ve been overdrafted in years and he hasn’t even given me a proper apology for using my card. He even had the audacity to say “Well now you know how it feels living paycheck to paycheck like me.”

So I canceled his part of the plane ticket to get some money back to pay the $500 worth of OD fees but I haven’t told him yet. I go back home tomorrow so I’ll tell him in person. AITA? BTW: I paid for the flights, the hotel, and rental car and he wasn’t going to contribute because it was “my friend’s wedding.”

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Haughty-Hottie said:

Your boyfriend treats you awfully. Is this really what you want to be dealing with the rest of your life? NTA.

apgreis25 said:

NTA change your credit card number ASAP!

sadandtraumatized said:

NTA because you cancelled it in order to get money back. Your bf is treating you really damn badly by using your money like this.

VariationOwn2131 said:

Honestly, you would do so much better for yourself being a single parent. Partners like this constantly cause problems with their financial abuse, but it’s never ever their fault; someone else is always to blame. If you need help with the mortgage, consider renting a room to another female veteran or college student.

Dachshundmom5 said:

Call the bank and report the fraud. Toss him to the curb. Respect yourself enough to know that people who love or at least respect you dont lie and steal. File for child support and be done with it.

Exval1 said:

Change your credit cards. Try to get the money back for everything else that he did not pay you back for. NTA.

Only-Breadfruit-6108 said:

You didn’t go far enough. You need to cancel the credit card, because he’s got the numbers saved. You need the cancel the front door to your home and get the locks changed. You need to cancel your relationship because your loser boyfriend is stealing from you. You might be disabled but you don’t seem stupid. NTA.