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'AITA for making my boyfriend leave my party because he got a tattoo of me?'

'AITA for making my boyfriend leave my party because he got a tattoo of me?'

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"AITA for making my boyfriend leave my party because he got a tattoo of me?"

True_Villain

A couple days ago friends and family threw me a surprise party after reaching a big milestone in my life. Everyone close to me was there, even my boyfriend. Half way through the night, he pulled me aside a said he wanted to show me something, he rolled up his sleeve and revealed a tattoo of my eyes on his arm.

Everyone around us was amazed and impressed by his romantic surprise. I felt discomfort despite his good intentions. I don’t hate tattoos, however our relationship is still new at 3 months and the permanent gesture caught me off guard.

When I expressed my distaste for the tattoo, tension rose between us, and I eventually yelled at him to leave the party infront of all the guests. He left and communication between us has been limited to a few texts since.

He’s saying that because it’s his body, he can do what he wants with it and that I shouldn’t have embarrassed him like that. He didn’t tell me beforehand because he wanted to leave it a surprise.

Most of my friends and family are saying I was being unfair and should have just appreciated that he got a tattoo of me.

So Reddit, AITA?

EDIT: The tattoo itself is very detailed, it has my eyebrows, the scar I have near my eye, also a mole that I have. It’s very distinctly me. Around the eyes is a border and on the bottom side, it has my name intergrated in it. It’s very small but present.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

nahimgoodthx2

NTA that is super weird and i understand why you’re uncomfortable and you have the right to feel that way. His body his choice sure, but your eyes.. you were never asked if this was okay and obviously it involves you because it was meant to be a gesture for you and about you...

Him saying that just seems childish to me and his actions in getting the tattoo so sudden in your relationship are a red flag. Doing it in front of family and friends was also kinda crappy on his part.

He knew what he did was odd and a big risk and chose to show you and everyone else knowing you would be less likely to make a scene. He was wrong. It was stupid and crazy and I would run personally. If he is this obsessed with you now just imagine what he will do at 6m NTA!!! Girl get out.

fishsticks40

This feels like red flag overcommitment to me. That he's trying to create a sense of obligation through this "grand gesture". It's wildly out of scale with a 3 month relationship and at best it shows terrible judgement.

iShipwreck

Yo the "3 month relationship" sent me. I was like, "oh, I mean, it's not THAT ba.. WTF 3 MONTHS??" Hell no. That level of crazy shouldn't come out for at least a couple years.

nahimgoodthx2

I forgot to mention and this is important. You are entitled to your own feelings. Just like he is. Please remember that and don’t change them because someone will try to take advantage of that and guilt you.

But i think it goes without saying that your feelings and his do not match up in this circumstance. The question is not are you an AH. The question is what are you going to do about it.

Lokea_01

NTA. He got a tattoo of you just 3 months in the relationship? That's weird as hell. I would be creeped out. That's something for the 10th anniversary, not for the "we barely knew each others faults" phase in the start of a relationship. Weird! I absolutely get why you felt discomfort.

agreensandcastle

NTA this was way over the top. It would also make me uncomfortable. Do I condone yelling, nope, but I also know that it happens and given rising tensions and pressure, not really surprised. Tell your family and friends that they don’t get to have an opinion on how you react in your private life. Your feelings are valid. Good luck!

TemptingPenguin369

NTA. Wow, that's creepy behavior three months into a relationship. How old are you both? To reveal it in front of your friends and family was weird as well. I'm surprised they found that as "romantic" when you just started dating!

Of course he can do what he wants with his body, but he has to accept that it may affect his relationship with you. I wouldn't be able to keep dating a guy who was that obsessed so early in a relationship. What might he do at six months?

The OP responded here:

True_Villain

I’m 18, he’s turning 20 next week.

Virtual-Pineapple-85

NTA After only 3 months, he puts your name and eyes on his body. The "his body, his choice" should be about him not you. You're right to be creeped out, that large of a romantic gesture that early in the relationship is controlling not romantic.

He used it to get positive attention from your friends and family who should be supporting you but are sympathizing with him. Instead of your birthday being a happy time for you and family, it's now about him and his so called romantic gesture. RED FLAGS 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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