'My (28 m) boyfriend has no decorum and sneaks to eat EVERYONES meals and MEAL PREP AND LEFTOVERS. His family call him the FRIDGE CLEANER and cut him off!'
"My (28 m) boyfriend has no decorum and sneaks to eat EVERYONES meals and MEAL PREP AND LEFTOVERS. His family call him the FRIDGE CLEANER and cut him off!"
One_Body_9230
Good Afternoon, I have never posted before and am only doing this out of desperation so please be kind in responses. I am under distress because my 28 year old boyfriend continuously eats my food and doesn’t think it’s wrong.
Yesterday, I made chicken shawarma over rice and a cucumber side salad, I served him and my daughter first and joined them shortly after. He has had struggles with obesity and I have helped him lose a lot of weight over the past 4 years and he continuously sneaks to eat food.
I do not control him and actually offer him to join me on hikes, I accommodate meals JUST for him and he doesn’t even appreciate this. I give him the largest portions because I realize he’s only 5ft9 and 200 lbs. this is a huge improvement!
Last night he ate a large plate of rice and chicken and I gave him a SECOND large Plate of the same meal. I put babygirl to sleep and we watched the notebook together. I didn’t finish my dinner as I’m on the slimmer side and have issues with picky eating and a lack of appetite so I often save my meals for later.
I went to use the bathroom, came back to the movie paused and decided to warm up my meal. HE ATE MY FOOD ! I brushed it off and got a bag of chips! I ate some of the chips and as the movie was done, we took a break and I went to shower, I came out of the shower to an empty bag of chips which I actually offered him a whole bowl of which he finished.
I explained to him how DISRESPECTFUL it is that he only thinks of himself when it comes to food. He said he won’t apologize and that I’m “controlling” him. Mind you, we have so much snacks in the pantry to which he can help himself but he CONSTANTLY eats my food and LEFTOVERS. He EVEN ATE MINE AND OUR 6 year old daughters leftovers.
Today, around 7am, I made breakfast for me babygirl and my man, he ate and I decided to make a chicken salad for myself to have after my morning run. I decided to not go on my run as I was feeling cramps and just got my period. I went to have a nap, today is my day off so I was looking forward to waking up from my nap and eating the chicken salad.
I have until 3:30 to cook dinner and clean before our daughter is home from school. I asked him to bring me my salad as I heard him making a meal, he brings me the empty bowl and laughs in my face…….. I honestly and infuriated and this is the 1000000th time he’s done this.
I told him he has no decorum or respect or regard for others, he NEVER makes me meals, let alone a cup of tea. If you eat food and leave it on the table or fridge, HE WILL EAT IT WITHOUT ASKING. He will even eat food that’s been out for hours…. He has no self control and I am completely TURNED OFF.
He is currently switching careers and this new career requires him to be physically fit and I don’t see this happening as he’s too busy eating everything in sight. I made him his OWN MEAL, I give him the MOST PORTIONS, and he STILL EATS MY FOOD.
I have lost so much weight and am struggling to gain weight right now due to stress and anxiety issues I’ve always had. I also have ADHD and this does not help. I flipped out on him and let him know how hurt I am, he says that I am “hard to deal with” and that I think “every food belongs to Me” and he feels like we “waste” food so if he sees food out he WILL EAT IT.
I am baffled as he doesn’t JUST do this to us, he has family who he went to visit in Alberta who CUT HIM OFF because during his stay there, he ate out their entire fridge. They told me he ate uncooked bacon and hotdogs straight out of the bag.
He feels like he’s not at fault and doesn’t feel embrassed or ashamed. When it comes to food, it seems to me that he has no self control at all. AITA for telling him I am done with this relationship because he refused to apologize last night and I STILL MADE HIM BREAKFAST and he ATE MY ONLY LUNCH I HAD TIME TO MAKE?
He refused to make me another chicken salad but was happy to laugh in my face and tell me it was good. I don’t know if I can be with someone like this because, my mother taught me to NEVERRRR eat other people’s food let alone LEFT OVERS!!!!
AITA for wanting to end this long term relationship in the middle of us planning for a wedding? He doesn’t EVERRRRR want to apologize and I’ve had the SAMEEEEE conversation about respect and decorum a million times…. HE DOES NOT CARE, he will DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN.
He victimizes him self and says that I like to make a big deal out of everything. I told him ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK, “hey babe, are you going to finish this later or can I have it”? I would NEVER be mad if he actually ASKED.
The problem is, he waits until I’m not around to eat my food or meals I have prepped in advance to save me cooking time as I’m the one who cooks and preps alllll the meals. I’m so fucking done with this man and honestly I don’t think I can do another day as I am completely turned off by his behaviour and lack of decorum.
He feels NOTHING, no remorse or guilt, he doesn’t seem to care or have the ability to understand what he did is wrong. No wonder his family don’t ever want him over, they call him the FRIDGE CLEANER!
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
alexshinsuke
It’s time to find a new boyfriend. This is over boundaries and rude ...
One_Body_9230 (OP)
He does not ever apologize … He makes me feel bad for reacting and all do is explain to him that I could never do that to other people and it’s rude. He has noooo shame… he’s completely SHAMELESS. Idk what to do.
Buttered_Crumpet09
You absolutely do know what to do. This man will not let anyone else eat. He's rude and disrespectful and has no consideration for you. You also have a child watching this go on. Do you want to teach her that it's okay for a mam to take her things and treat her with such disrespect?
Worse still, do you want her to develop issues with food because she is used to her food being snatched away from her, or do you want her to think his behaviour is normal and start behaving like him? You know what you need to do. Ditch him, change the locks, and enjoy your chicken salad in peace. You're NTA.
boo2449
NTA. Don’t feel bad for breaking up with him, he is disrespectful and doesn’t care about you. Stop cooking for him, definitely don’t marry him. If you can’t stop him from eating your food, go out to eat until he moves out (or you move out) but stop taking care of him, he can be responsible for himself from now on.
I_wanna_be_anemone
OP, do you seriously want your little grow to spend the rest of her childhood watching this manchild selfishly devour everything? Do you want to watch as she starts getting defensive of her food, starts hoarding snacks or shoving food in her mouth just to make sure she gets to eat before it’s literally taken from her?