'AITA for my response to my boyfriend's ultimatum over audiobooks?' + UPDATE

"AITAH for my response to my boyfriend's ultimatum over audiobooks??"

My boyfriend and I have been together for around three years, and we've had a pretty easy going relationship, no big fights or anything, until now, which is why I'm questioning myself so much.

So I listen to audiobooks, not erotic ones, though I do sometimes listen to the audio of NSFW videos (because as becomes important later- I have a thing for nice voices), but somehow someone just reading smut off a page feels weird for me to listen to, no judgement to anyone else of course, just not my thing.

My bf has recently gotten a bug up his butt about me listening to them, especially when he's home, even though I always use headphones, and do my best not to disturb him. Also, before anyone says it, my audible account comes directly out of my own bank account, he has no reason to think it will effect his finances. Anyway, he only ever gave little snide remarks until the latest time, so I let it go.

Most recently, I had been making us dinner, and cleaning up behind myself as I did it, and because he was playing video games, and I get bored doing those kinds of things without something else to think about, I turned on my favorite audiobook, and picked up where I had been listening the week before.

I didn't realize he was in the kitchen until he jerked the cord on my headphones, and asked if I was "doing it again" I asked what he was talking about and he just sighed, and said that he needed to talk to me. We sat down, and I'll admit, I was pretty pissed he had jerked on my headphones, and not super willing to listen to anything right then, another reason I might be an AH.

He said that it really bothered him when I listened to audiobooks from a mans perspective, because he knows about my 'voice thing' and that it makes him uncomfortable. I asked why, and he said that he couldn't get it out of his head that I was thinking romantic things about the characters, and that, that, along with the romantic elements made him really upset.

He felt almost like I wasn't 'fully committed' to him. I asked if he realized I was listening to a book for teens, written by a literal Mormon, and that none of the books I listen to have smut. He said that it didn't matter, and started getting angry again, which just made me angrier, and he dropped the ultimatum that he wanted me to stop, or else we would need to break up.

I was so pissed at this point that I just shrugged and said 'gladly, the minute you stop watching corn videos I'll never touch any of it again." which had him pissed, because he claimed he never said anything about videos, only the 'romantic and intimate' parts of the books I listen to. I said that if he was allowed to make ultimatums of favorite pastimes, why can't I?

Then I asked if he would rather give up video games since that's closer to what audiobooks mean to me? He ended up just saying to 'forget it' and went to bed, but has been pissed at me since. I talked to my friends about the situation and got mixed answers so I wanted to try with strangers as well.

TL;DR: BF wanted me to quit listening to non-sexual audiobooks, because he felt I wasn't 'fully committed' to him, so I asked him to give something else up in return. AITAH?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

RudeEar5 said:

NTA. You should re-evaluate your relationship with him. He is acting insecure, jealous and controlling. Don’t stop doing what you are doing.

wailingwonder said:

He's crazy and anyone that tells you otherwise is crazy. You were cooking and cleaning while he was playing. If he's so insecure about a random guy reading a book then maybe he could have been in there working on dinner with you.

You were being neglected so of course you got bored (note: sure, it's okay for one person to work while the other chills as long as it's not always the same person and as long as it works for the relationship). He could have kept you company. He could have been the voice in your ear.

He could have fought his insecurity by coming up behind you and kissing your neck and taking your mind off the book. Something sexy. But he decided the best choice was to be as UNsexy as possible and aggressively jerk your headphones and whine. You can see the red flags, right OP? You don't need us, right? NTA

And SuccessfulSeaweed385 said:

He is completely out of line. Being jealous of audio books is next level insecurity. NTA.

She later shared this update:

So it's been a while. I didn't think I would update, because the original update would have been mostly us talking and working things out, agreeing that whenever he felt insecure, he could tell me, and I could focus my attention on him for a while. It worked really great.

Well, until I found out he had been sleeping with his coworker, that is. I don't have the details, I don't want the details, but he admitted to it in the end, so he did it. Thats enough. He wanted to work it out, and apologized, begged for a second chance, but honestly? The idea that he said a word to me about an AUDIOBOOK about EDWARD FRICKIN' CULLEN while he was getting strange on the side?

It killed any opportunity for forgiveness I had inside of me. It was so ridiculous, I laugh thinking about it now, and it's been a month since we broke up. Like, it makes me feel insane it is so funny. He was yelling at me... for listening to a book about MORMON VAMPIRES... While he was CHEATING ON ME. XD I cannot make this shIt up.

100 points to whoever said projection the first time I posted, I can't remember if it was a comment or a message, but you were right I wish I had a cookie. Thanks for the help anyway, even if the relationship is a bust now, I really do appreciate you all.

Guess what will never cheat on you? An AUDIOBOOK!