'AITA for packing my bags after my boyfriend's girl best friend let herself in at 7am to make breakfast?'
"AITA for packing my bags after my boyfriend's girl best friend let herself in at 7am to make breakfast?"
So me 23f and my boyfriend 25m have been dating for about 2 years and I just moved into his apartment last month. Things have been mostly great but there is one issue and its his best friend Sarah 25f.
They've known each other since high school and she is always around. I'm usually chill with female friends I really am but she always makes these weird passive aggressive comments about how she knows his favorite foods better than me or how they used to shower together after swimming in middle school which is just weird to bring up. I try to ignore it cause I don't want to be that crazy girlfriend.
Anyway, last night me and him watched a movie and went to sleep around midnight. We sleep naked usually so I was just in bed when I woke up at like 7 in the morning to the smell of food.
I thought my boyfriend was making breakfast but he was literally snoring right next to me. I got up and put on my robe and walked out to the kitchen and Sarah is standing there making chocolate chip pancakes (with the mini chips cause she said thats his favorite).
She is wearing one of his oversized band shirts and nothing else on her legs just underwear. I literally froze and asked her what the hell she is doing here. She just laughed and said oh I got locked out of my place after a hook up went bad so I used my spare key to come here.
She has a spare key from before I moved in for emergencies but I thought he took it back.
I lost it and told her she cant just walk into our home while were sleeping. I was raising my voice and it woke up my boyfriend.
He came out in his boxers and saw me yelling at her. Instead of taking my side, he got mad at me for yelling at his guest and said she was having a hard night and said I should be more understanding.
She started tearing up and said she will just leave and he told her no stay and eat. I was so mad I just went to the bedroom and packed a duffel bag and drove to my sister's house which is like 40 mins away and my car has no AC so I was just sweating and crying the whole way.
He has been texting me all day saying I'm overreacting and being insecure and that she is like a sister to him. His mom even texted me saying I need to be more welcoming to his friends because Sarah told her what happened. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills like who does that?? Am I overreacting or is this actually insane behavior?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. Walking into your home at 7am in his shirt is wild. The bigger issue is he defended her instead of setting boundaries.
NTA
This is just a glimpse of your future.
This comment needs more attention. Imagine your pathetic bf and her at every moment in your relationship. If you go on your first holiday together, is she coming too? Or will she just turn up at your hotel?
You get engaged, probably picked a ring she liked rather than thinking of what you like. You get pregnant, well done you can now be an incubator for what will be treated as hers and his baby.
That's if you even get that far. I can't imagine having this kind of relationship with my siblings, so that "she's like a sister" comment doesn't work for anyone with siblings. The mum part was exceptionally pathetic. Still need mummy to fight not only your battles but your side pieces too lmao. NTA don't walk, run!
NTA. She got locked out of her place so she used a key she had for your place? Wouldn't her key and the key to your place be on the same key ring? Her constant comments about knowing him better than you are some weird jealousy move on her part, she wants to be in his bed. He might see her like a sister but she doesn't see him like a brother. pack the rest of your things and leave the entire train wreck.
NTA. She was marking her territory and your bf is a wiener with no boundaries. That was completely inappropriate.
NTA, Sarah is a freaking AH marking her territory and your stupid-ass boyfriend is either an oblivious idiot or gets a kick out of girls fighting for him. Choose your dignity, don't stoop to their level. Take your stuff from his place, mourn your relationship as much as you need (preferably not at all, he is not worth it) and find someone who will cherish you. All the best!
What the hell. NTA. This is insane! Why does Sarah talk to his mom to complain about you, why does his mom pick her side, why does he pick her side? Girl... You deserve so much better. Sounds like you're being made into the third wheel in your own relationship.
NTA. You aren't his girlfriend, she is. They just haven't made it official yet. Don't wait around let them do their thing and you find someone who actually wants to do theirs with you. She's spent all this time telling you she's his priority, he's just confirmed it.
Backup a second. They took showers together in middle school? Naked or in their swim suits? If it was in their swimsuits fine, but if they were sexual way back in their early teens that implies a whole other level of intimacy, and a very odd one. There has to be more to their story, but this sounds like some Jerry Springer nonsense.
NTA. This is not a life I would want…being second best to his female best friend. Dump him. And give him advice to date his best friend so they can’t hurt other innocent people. Update us!
NTA. RUN!!!! Then send him, his mom, and his side chick this thread. I seriously don’t understand why parents think it’s a good idea to get involved in their children’s relationships. That is a huge red flag! HUGE.
Lastly, did he say he did get or would get his key back from her? Or did you just assume? I mean how do you get locked out of your own home, but magically have your friends house key. Sus.