I guess I should’ve been less oblivious, but since a little before we started dating in 2022 I was added to my boyfriend’s (just friend at the time) three person instagram group chat with what he explained were some of his closest online friends.
The two other accounts seemed like real people because they had real followers and comments on their posts, and drastically different aesthetics/looks to them. We eventually made a discord server for us and that alone was convincing enough since multiple times we’d all be active at the same time. We never voice chatted but I used to never voice chat either, so I didn’t think twice.
The group got closer though as more and more time passed since I was first added to their group chat, and last month we got together and planned a research TRIP TO HAWAII for August (we live on the East coast of the US). Like we booked everything!
So imagine my surprise when I’m over at his house tonight and his computer is open and I just want to log into my google docs when I accidentally stumble across first of all, follower bot sites, and also him logged in and chatting with me as one of the individuals I thought I had become close with, and just got this sinking feeling.
I didn’t jump to the idea that they could be fake either, I was like, maybe he just has their logins since they’re all so close and is way too interested in their messages, but then I noticed their only chats were the group chats and the server, and the real kicker was the email address it was signed up under was his backup email with his full name.
I quite literally snooped until he got out of the shower and caught me, which I’m not saying was right of me but I couldn’t help myself. During my snooping I gradually became devastatingly confident that he wasn’t behind just one but both accounts.
I’ve never seen his face so red and he just absolutely panicked and started shouting at me to get out of his business. I couldn’t even form the right words to say to him, in the end I just walked out of his apartment sobbing.
It’s very early in the morning, I get that, but this screenshot is what he has to say and I’m starting to feel crazy. Am I overreacting about my discovery?
OP: i just want to know why.
OP: when it finally came time for the Hawaii trip, how were you going to explain that?? what were you thinking [redacted].
BF: You know something I've noticed about you?
BF: You can never just be calm, and there always has to be an issue. I know you were raised in a volatile environment and still have to relearn a lot about healthy relationship dynamics, but it's like you thrive on chaos. only.
BF: And we were gonna see wicked tonight. Pfft I guess there that goes.
OP: you can't be serious.
OP: i deserve answers, i am honestly so creeped out.
OP: basically half of my life for the past two years has been a complete and total lie and you were behind all of it.
BF: Okay, don't be dramatic. You know this isn't a big deal, you're just giddy to harp on this and make a bigger issue.
BF: Do you want to get our tickets off the AMC app or buy them at the theatre?
Just got this last one. He still hasn’t explained himself, essentially at all. I am going to take the advice of the majority of the comments section and block on everything. Thank you so much for all of your kindness and support. I have not slept at all as this is just such a bizarre situation, so I appreciate you all.
'you need to learn about healthy relationship dynamics' lol. Says the guy who's also two other fake people. For real though he is genuinely gaslighting you. When you say in your post you feel crazy that's what he's going for. He'd rather you feel that way - that, for him, would be better than taking responsibility for lying to you.
Him and his closest online friends never have disagreements like this. She's just a drama queen.
His response to you is even more unhinged than his original deceit. RUN! BLOCK!
You're not overreacting. That's insane.
Yeah this is... not okay. I'm blown away that this is actually real because what?? How could someone do that to you, your partner of all people, and like was he ever planning on telling you or just letting it ride out? What does he gain from this?
So many things running through my mind but the most disgusting factor is how he responded to it and it honestly sounds so manipulative and like he's deflecting instead of owning up to his actions. I'm sorry that you're going through this.
I assume people will be looking at my account so I just wanted to reassure you of my safety and leave you with this for now. I honestly have the biggest migraine of my life and I haven’t slept at all.
Nothing similar to this has ever happened to me before but my life has been crazy enough to where I wasn’t able to prepare for the huge reaction something like this gets. I knew it was bizarre but I didn’t know it would jump to the top of EVERYTHING.
I assumed it would collect some advice or opinions I could read and then the post would get lost in the void like how it goes with the majority of my others. But I sincerely appreciate every bit of support.
Unfortunately I am also being bombarded with hate and nasty messages and my headache keeps getting worse, so I need to get off Reddit for today but I don’t want to just ghost and make people think something horrible happened, because I am taking the steps to make sure nothing does.
He does have my address but I live with my family in an apartment building that needs a key fob to get in so I have at least those two layers of safety for now, but for some reason I doubt that at least today there will be any attempts at a personal confrontation.
Even then I am confident I will be able to remain safe and far away as possible in the case he does come around. I have alerted some of my (real) friends of the situation as well, and they will be close to me as much as they can.
So, please do not worry when I am not active for the rest of today, I’m just getting nauseous from my headache and I don’t want to start the day feeling like this. I still see people concerned for my safety so even though I’m taking a break for today I just want to share that I have received no communication from him today.
I ended up going on a hike with a friend and then out to dinner and drinks and had a nice time, I am home with my family now and hopefully the rest of the night is as uneventful.
Theres insane, and then theres whatever the hell this dude is.
Yooo. I literally said “oh my god” out loud when I read the title, but I still somehow was not prepared for the gaslighting and acting like nothing she said mattered? Just. WTF. Stay safe, OP.
Plot Twist: OP is also the boyfriend. He's completely lost it and thinks he's OP and logged into his own computer and accounts and was creeped out by himself and made those reddit posts. He's also me, writing this post. He's also you, reading this post.
The fact that he blamed her freaking out about him lying to her like that for TWO YEARS on how she has a "volatile background"!! Oh my god!! And then he texts her about movie tickets like nbd after she leaves his apartment sobbing. Guy's cracked.
What in the actual world, this is not over. The amount of effort and commitment he put in making her his girlfriend, suggests he wouldn't be quick to let this go.