'AITA for wanting to break up with my GF? She wanted things casual, but now wants to move in.' UPDATED

"AITA for wanting to break up with my GF when she said she wanted to keep things casual 8 months ago and now wants to move in with her kids?"

I 34M have been seeing this woman 41F for the past 8 months or so now. She was just getting out of a messy divorce and wanted something casual and fun. I told her I wasn't looking for anything serious either and made clear I never wanted kids because I knew she had two daughters in high school. We've had effortless chemistry but we've never gotten more serious over the time of our relationship.

A few days ago she brought up the idea of her and her kids moving in to my place. I figured because I live on the beach she just wanted an upgraded lifestyle but then she brought up how the town I live in has a much better public school system than the one she's living in now.

She's super sweet and I've met her daughters and they seem very nice but I'm like wtf how do we go from a casual relationship to moving in and me becoming a stepdad overnight. I don't see a path that involves me saying how I felt and her just accepting things how they are.

I feel like if a woman wants to move in with you, you're beyond the casual stage. She's even joked a couple times recently about how she knows she can't give me anything I don't already have but she can always give me a cute baby smh. Like I said, she's really nice but this is just way too much all at once.

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Impressive-Food4371 wrote:

Time to have a serious conversation. You two are clearly not on the same page regarding the relationship.

Due_Investigator8873 wrote:

Agreed. No point dragging things out when it’s clear they need to communicate and figure out where they stand.

No-University4959 wrote:

Dragging it out just builds resentment. Clear talk now saves everyone from bigger mess later.

Capital_AT wrote:

She's clearly not coping well with her divorce and perhaps using OP as an emotional rock to stand on. A discussion about what kind of relationship they'll have moving forward needs to happen. If OP is uncomfortable with the speed or decisions then a step back is needed.

Two days later, OP shared an update.

Just want to start off by saying I appreciate all the advice/support from my last post. I told the woman that I was seeing that I couldn't continue on with her and that the idea of her moving in with her teenage daughters after 8 months of casual dating was too much too soon. She was pissed and went on and on about how I wasn't a good guy and that I used her and all that. I just hung up after awhile and blocked her.

On one hand I feel like an AH for just dumping her out of the blue (from her "perspective"), but I honestly feel relieved. I think she was hoping I'd get her pregnant. After thinking about it more, I realized how could I possibly be with someone long term who wanted to move in with me with her two teenage daughters after a casual relationship for 8 months?

I met her daughters in passing just once and she wants to move them in with us? I think I dodged a bullet but still feel a bit bad. She's gorgeous and fun but a bit dangerous too I suspect lol.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Potential_Cold4049 wrote:

Seems like you dodged a bullet...

Usual-Canary-7764 wrote:

Several bullets fired from an uzi held by someone with poor motor skills aiming in OPs direction lol.

No-Air-3401 wrote:

She wanted casual for 8 months, which means she was keeping her options open in case someone with a nicer house and more money came along. After 8 months, she figured you were the best she was gonna get. And now she's pissed that you broke up with her. No reason to feel bad here.

sb0212 wrote:

You're 100% correct that it's super weird she was willing to bring her two teenage daughters into your home after casually dating. My comment has nothing to do with you as a person but I find that strange.

You made the right mood because you don't want a woman who doesn't think straight for her children to become the mother of your child. I'm sorry to say but every parent should make sure the person they are dating is 100% safe to be around their children.

Apprehensive_War9612 wrote:

Well done. It was not out of the blue- you never need a reason to end a relationship. But as you keep saying, this relationship was casual & you told her precisely why it would not work. Her judgment is trash. You should never move your children into a home with a man they do not know after 8 months.

You may be a good guy, but a good mother would never take that sort of chance. Anything could happen to her girls. I’m willing to bet she’s losing her place or has some financial difficulties happening & was looking for a way out. Or she is just crazy. NTA.

LilPajamas wrote:

This happened to a doctor friend of mine in Florida- he moves his mortgage broker (who pre-qualified him if you know what I mean) into his house with her 3 teenagers and puts a ring on her finger after 4 months. Things went to hell rapidly and he filed for divorce - since the kids were all under 18 she got to live there for 18 months while the divorce was finalized. You dodged a bullet! 🚩🚩🚩