'AITA for breaking a memento from my fiancée’s late father that she had gifted me after I found out she cheated on me?'
"AITA for breaking a memento from my fiancée’s late father that she had gifted me after I found out she cheated on me?"
My fiancée (26F) and I (26M) have been together for 8 years. I proposed to her last week, and she said yes. We’ve been serious about building a life together for a long time, and I genuinely thought we were rock solid.
A few days ago, one of her close friends (25F) reached out to me anonymously and told me that my fiancée had cheated on me a couple of years ago during a one night stand on a girls’ trip. I didn’t want to believe it. I trusted her completely, so I decided to ask her about it directly.
When I brought it up, she broke down and admitted it happened. She said it was a huge mistake and that it’s haunted her ever since. But honestly, the second she confirmed it, I felt everything nauseous and numb. I had just proposed to this person thinking I knew who she was.
At the time, I was wearing a leather bracelet she had gifted me on my birthday last year. It had originally belonged to her late father, who passed away a few years ago. It was a dark brown Montblanc wrap bracelet, the kind with a subtle silver clasp and stitched edges.
She told me it was one of the last things she had from him, and that he used to wear it almost every day. She’d kept it in a box in her drawer for years because just seeing it brought back memories of him.
Giving it to me wasn’t just a birthday gift, it was her way of saying she trusted me completely, that she saw me as someone her dad would have respected, someone she pictured in her life forever.
After she confessed, I took the bracelet off, threw it on the floor, and stomped on it a few times. The leather tore near the clasp and it got badly scuffed and bent. Then I grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer and cut it the rest of the way through.
She didn’t say anything and just stood there. She then got down and started picking up the pieces while crying. I told her she has a month to pack her things and move out.
Now that I’ve had some time to cool down, I do feel some guilt. I know that bracelet meant a lot to her, not just as a gift, but as a connection to her dad. I acted out of hurt and betrayal, but I can’t help but wonder if destroying it crossed a line.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
I hate cheaters as much as the next person but destroying something her dead father left to her is just cruel and was completely unnecessary.
His ego was hurt, he has to hurt her back.
And yes this is horrible, because he's an AH.
so his ego, not his feelings are crushed because the person that he was with from his teenage years cheated on him ..................... u sound delusional.
If I found out you’d done this to an ex, even if they had cheated. I would NEVER date you.
What are you, 5yrs old?
I get it, you're upset and have every right to be upset.
Sorry this happened. You didn't handle it well.
YTA. Stomping on it in the heat of the moment is one thing. Taking the time to grab scissors and finish destroying it is something else entirely. She dodged a bullet.
Your behavior is abusive. Yes, you have a right to feel hurt or angry. But your violent act is something is childish and scary to witness. Have you ever considered getting help for these angry no-self-control outbursts?
It's deeply concerning that you don't even know this is wrong. I think the relationship should end. You don't trust her. And she doesn't feel safe around you. This is not a healthy relationship.
Exactly. It’s ok to be upset and hurt and even do something in the moment you wouldn’t normally do, but to want to hurt the other person back and then continue to do it past the initial moment is a major red flag of abuse.
She cheated, yes. End of relationship is warranted. But you're too immature to be getting married. Wtf is wrong with you to destroy an item like that. Deliberately with scissors?!? She dodged a whole damn bullet thanks to her gf telling you about the one night stand. Thank goodness for her.
Considering you have over 3000 karma despite absolutely no other posts or comments on your profile, and the only other subreddits you're in are similar 'AITA' forums, I'm willing to bet this is fake. Sign up for a creative writing class or something.
YTA. She was absolutely wrong, but this happened years ago. You destroyed something that can never be replaced. I hope she dumps your ass and you are alone forever.
Y'all needed to date other people a long time ago. I'm sure it was a stupid mistake from an unexperienced and horny phase a lot of people go through in their youth. Y'all are still young. Apologize for breaking it and move on. Offer to have it repaired. I wouldn't have even given my dad's bracelet to some dude.