'AITA for breaking up with my BF because he said I 'hurt him on purpose?''

"AITA for breaking up with my BF because he said I 'hurt him on purpose?'"

I (25F) broke up with my ex-boyfriend (26M) a couple of days ago after a fight that went in circles for almost an hour. He was telling me about a script he wanted to write involving a kid, brainrot, and AI. I have some views about it and how it's not the best, the point is that I said something like how would you say that your brain doesn't work?

All in this according to how he will represent or how I'll the mother notice that the kid is just full of nonsense on the internet, referring to the kid in the script, not him. He asked “What did you just say?”, I repeated my point about AI because I genuinely didn’t know what he meant. He said that wasn’t it.

I asked him what he heard, because I couldn’t remember saying anything else. He wouldn’t tell me, he just kept pushing for me to “admit” something. I got louder out of frustration (not yelling at him, just overwhelmed), and he hung up saying I “shouldn’t scream.”

Later by text he told me that I said “your brain doesn’t work.” I confirmed yes, I said the phrase — but about the kid in the script, not about him. I apologized and explained the context multiple times.

He kept insisting that I said it about him and that I “wanted to hurt him.” I asked what he wanted from the conversation, what outcome he was looking for, because I had already apologized, clarified my intent and proposed how I was going to be careful with my words.

He kept repeating the same thing: that I said it “to hurt him." That my apology wasn’t real, and at one point he said I “don’t even know basic grammar and pronouns” because I “kept putting him in the sentence.”

I asked him to be responsible and tell me what he wanted, what's the meaning of the conversation, what does he want to achieve because I couldn't keep apologizing and my solution to be careful of my words seemed like it wasn't for his liking.

When we got back on the phone he talked to me like I was beneath him, correcting my grammar and telling me I did it intentionally. I admit I got loud again because it felt like he wasn’t listening to anything I said. We hung up again.

I texted him saying I was sorry he felt hurt, and that my words hurt him, that it wasn’t my intention, but I didn’t want to keep being in a relationship where my intentions are assumed and I’m not listened to.

The next morning he sent a long message saying he “shouldn’t be responsible for a mistake he didn’t make,” that my apology “lacked empathy,” and how I basically didn’t get it. I replied one last time saying that nothing I said or explained mattered, because he had already decided what my intentions were. Then I blocked him.

Now I keep overthinking. Part of me is sad, part of me is angry, and part of me wonders: AITA for not apologizing for something I didn’t know I supposedly did? AITA for apologizing “too late” and over explain myself? Was I wrong for not knowing what upset him when he wouldn’t tell me? AITA?

Extra info/context about the relationship: we were together for 1y10m. This wasn’t our first communication issue. We’d had multiple arguments where he interpreted neutral comments as personal attacks.

For example, once he got upset because I called him “dude" instead of love,” saying it meant I considered him "another one" and how I was hanging out with more people, this also happened with words like, mate, king, bro.

Another time he was bothered because I like to dance tropical music like salsa and cumbia (we're both Mexicans) and he was mad because I shouldn't be dancing with other people since it was a close thing for partners and asked that I shouldn't do it. (he also doesn't like and don't know how to dance).

He also talk/insinuate that I should stop interacting with certain people (this can be another topic since the main issue was that when we're working together he had issues with this guy that was his roommate long time ago and when I started the work this guy and his group became my first friends and this other guy, let's call him Jake idk told me their issues...

My ex didn't told me all about it but a slight part and when we started dating we got mad that I was talking with them, when I started to draw my limits with them he was mad because we kept talking even when we were in the same office I we had to talk and at the end he was just mad I didn't stopped talking to him like at all...

We had a huge fight over this guy and when I texted Jake like bro I'm sorry I can't keep talking with you my ex also got mad). He also never talks about what's really upsetting him and most of the time I have to ask and if I ask to much I'm pushy and nosy but if I don't then I don't care.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

ngroat said:

If this was enough to break your relationship...it wasn't worth being in, in the first place.

OkSignature3562 said:

NTA, y’all aren’t compatible.

lovewholly said:

NTA. Leave him blocked. You did the right thing. Sounds like you have deserved better for a long time.

IDMike2008 said:

NTA - Headgames have no place in a healthy relationship.

SimilarBid2840 said:

NTA. That's what he wanted anyway. Don't drive yourself crazy over it.

Comfortable-Focus123 said:

NTA - He sounds exhausting. He is more concerned about correcting you and being right than being in a relationship.

DependentMarsupial99 said:

NTA- oh my…he seems a little tiresome, also I don’t think communication wise you guys are compatible.