'AITA for breaking up with my BF because he won’t stop using his iPad during family events?'

"AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he won’t stop using his iPad during family events?"

Okay, so buckle up because this is a mess. I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend (20M) for like a year now and he’s cool in most ways, but there’s one HUGE thing that’s driving me crazy. Like, his iPad is like surgically attached to him. I can’t even go through a family dinner or holiday without him staring at that thing the whole time. Whether he’s texting, gaming, or watching Netflix, I just can’t get his attention.

I’ve talked to him about it SO many times. I’ve asked, begged, even cried asking him to put it down just for a little while. Like, I just want him to be present when we’re at family events. But he always has an excuse like “I’m catching up on work” or “I’m watching something important” or “I’ll stop in a sec.” And honestly, I’m just so done with it.

So last weekend, my grandma (80F) was having her birthday party and this was a big deal. She’s getting old and like, I didn’t know how many more birthdays we’d get to have with her. I told him like 500 times, “Please, just leave the iPad at home for this, I want you to show up for me and my family.”

He promised he would. BUT the second we walk in, guess what happens? The iPad comes out, headphones go in, and he’s just staring at it like he’s in a whole other world. I was like are you serious?

At first, I tried to be chill about it. I was like, “Hey, can you please just put it down for dinner?” and he goes, “I’ll be done soon.” But he didn’t stop. Then I asked again, “Can you PLEASE pay attention? My grandma’s right there, and you’re acting like you’re somewhere else.” And he just kept scrolling like I wasn’t even there.

By this point, I was so mad, like, boiling. I was tired of feeling like I don’t matter more than his stupid iPad. So, in front of everyone—yes, in front of EVERYONE—I snapped. I told him, “If you care so little about me and my family, then you can just leave.” And what does he do? He just stands up, shrugs, says,

“Whatever” and walks out. Like, just straight up walked out. I was standing there, shaking with embarrassment and anger, in front of my whole family, trying not to lose it.

After he left, I was a mess. My family was all awkward and didn’t know what to say, and my mom was like, “Why couldn’t you just let it go? It’s just an iPad, it’s not that big of a deal.” But to me, it was. It wasn’t about the iPad; it was about him constantly choosing it over me, over my family, over being part of the moment. And that’s when I realized, I deserve better than that.

Now I’m kinda questioning everything. Some of my friends think I overreacted, that it was “just an iPad” and I should’ve let it go, but I’m honestly just done. I’m tired of feeling like second place. So, AITA for breaking up with him just because he wouldn’t stop using his iPad at a family event? Or did I blow it and make a huge mistake?

What do you think? Did she "blow it and make a huge mistake"? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

Shot_Ad6332 said:

Get rid of him. His iPad is more important than you are. It's like he's a little kid

OP responded:

okay thank you i’m glad you see it too i’ve been feeling like im crazy

Medical_Onion_3500 said:

OP, this guy does not like you. Yeah, he could be anxious and using that as a distraction, but he disrespected you openly, multiple times, and in front of your family no less. Just let him go.

OP responded:

i know he disrespected me but everyone is making me feel crazy, his parents don’t see a problem with it and my literal mom said it wasn’t a big deal i’m so conflicted

lil-steevie said:

Of course you’re NTA. If he wants to be an iPad kid he can be an iPad kid in someone else’s business

And EmperorBamboozler said:

Nah homie it's not just an ipad, it's the fact that you have clearly set a boundry and he chose to ignore it, even after "agreeing" to stop for this event. This dude is acting childish. If he can't recognize this is an important thing for you and spend one night off his ipad that is a massive red flag. He is giving you platitudes and saying he will do one thing then does the opposite when the event actually happens.

I would be furious if my partner did that. It's a massive sign of disrespect. I am not going to say that you two should break up over it, only you know if that's the right call or not, but it's clearly a big issue for you and maybe a third party like a relationship councilor would be helpful here.

If I was with someone and they told me they would do one thing then did the exact opposite that would be an instant dealbreaker for me. Trust and compromise are the backbone of a good relationship.

FlyonthewallofRed asked:

How did you manage to get his attention enough to get into a relationship? Or was it love at first sight & no more eye contact ever again?

And OP responded:

well we went to high school togther and the. ended up working togther and yk but when we first started dating, he was super attentive and made me feel special. He’d spend quality time with me, and I felt like he genuinely cared. But over time, his iPad started creeping into everything—dates, dinners, even family events.

The more I asked him to put it down, the more he brushed it off like it wasn’t a big deal. I realized I was no longer getting his attention, his iPad was😭

We'll keep you posted if there are any updates!