'AITA for breaking up with my BF of 2 years after he proposed at his sister's wedding?'

"AITA for breaking up with my BF of 2 years after he proposed at his sisters wedding?"

I (27 f) and my boyfriend "Jake" (30 m) were at his sisters wedding last weekend. everything was going well until he tried to propose during the reception. He got down on one knee and held a ring box, I said "Not now stand up". I stopped him because if someone proposed at my wedding I would be pissed and I didn't want to make a scene. He looked like l had kicked a dog and walked off.

l felt really bad and tried to talk to him. He shut me down and walked away again. l called him on Monday. He didn't answer, l thought he was just busy playing world of warcraft or something and waited. l tried again the next day and he didn't answer.

At this point l know he's ignoring me, so l called his mum and asked if he was okay. She said she didn't know and asked me if something happened. l told her what happened at his sisters wedding and she was pissed at him.

He texted me on Wednesday and told me he'd gotten permission from his sister to propose. He apparently had talked with his sister before the wedding and she said he could propose. l called his sister and asked about it and she said something like "what the hell he never asked me". l told her that l rejected his proposal, and that I'm gonna talk to him about it. It's now Friday and he hasn't answered my calls or texts.

Now l'm pissed and l gave him an ultimatum, l know ultimatums aren't healthy but it was a last resort to get him to stop ignoring me. l texted him "l know you didn't talk to your sister. lf you don't respond and talk to me we're breaking up". He called me right away and apologized for lying and for ignoring me for a full week. He came over and we had a long conversation.

He was offended that l gave him an ultimatum. l understand it was wrong of me but a week of almost no talking is too long. l told him l needed space and asked him to leave. He left and l thought things over. l decided to break up because of the lying and ignoring me for almost a week. He and his dad are angry at me for breaking up with him over this, but lying is a dealbreaker for me.

So am l the AH for breaking up with my BF of 2 years over him proposing at a wedding and lying about it?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

ForeignAdagio said:

That’s not an ultimatum that’s a consequence of his actions 🙄 if you don’t speak to me there’s no point in being together, you’re proving you don’t care enough to work it out so there’s no point in continuing. NTA and good for you not getting caught up in the moment and thinking about his sister ❤️

chonkosaurusrexx said:

Ofc NTA, Can I ask why you sent him an ultimatum at all instead of just breaking up with him?

OP responded:

Our relationship had been good so far so l wanted to give him a 2nd chance. But lying is a deal-breaker for me so l broke up with him.

Immediate_Today6451 said:

Wait, was his mom not at her own daughter’s wedding?

OP responded:

She had her back turned so she didn't know until l told her about it.

LA-forthewin said:

You can break up for any reason or none at all. He has shown a major character flaw. You did what you had to do

CaptainRaj said:

"Jake" sounds more like a 13 year old than 30. You got lucky, me thinks. NTA.

LeaveInteresting3290 said:

NTA - I think you are fantastic for stopping the proposal. Anyone who proposes at someone else’s wedding is an AH.

She later shared this brief update:

He just texted me calling me a b!tch and blocked me on everything lol. I dodged a bullet l guess