'AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend after he considered dumping me?' UPDATED

"AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend after he considered dumping me?"

Me (27F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been dating for four months. We have so much in common, he's super sweet and always goes the extra mile for me with grand romantic gestures, even asking me out by buying me my favorite comic book and leaving a sticky note between the pages confessing his feelings. I've never gotten anything but amazing vibes from him this whole time until now.

However, BF has a childhood friend (27F) I'll call Syd. My boyfriend was very upfront when we started dating that he and Syd had romantic feelings for each other in the past but decided it would be best they only stayed friends since they didn't want to risk their friendship. I never actually met Syd before and have only heard about her from BF and vice versa.

About two weeks ago, my BF texted me, super distraught, telling me that Syd called him, saying that she was too jealous of my and BF's relationship and that she couldn't stand being BF's friend while he was in a happy relationship with me. She basically gave BF an ultimatum of him having to break up with me or she would cut him out of her life.

I was baffled by this, thinking that this 27 year old woman, who had mutually agreed with BF that they would never date, was so childish to give him a ridiculous ultimatum and I voiced that to him. He got mad at me, saying "It's not that simple" and seemed to be seriously considering breaking up with me just to stay friends with Syd.

I was in disbelief that he couldn't see how manipulative and a^&%$#e this was, and that the obvious conclusion would be to cut her off since she was clearly toxic and controlling, but he was still on the fence and we ended up taking a break and not talking while he "thought it over".

The next week and a half, he barely talked to me, telling me he's in a very hard place while I became increasingly frustrated that this would even be a hard choice. Like, we're in a happy relationship, and he's debating breaking up because his crazy friend can't handle her jealousy? I was fuming.

He then finally came to me after that time of not talking saying he decided to "choose me" and leave his friendship with Syd behind, but by that time I was so mad that it was even a choice that took two whole weeks to decide to begin with that I ended up breaking up with him anyway.

Now his friends are telling me I'm an @$$hole for not breaking up with him sooner because now Syd is still cutting him out for picking me over her AND I'm still leaving him, whereas if I had broken up with him during the weeks he was "thinking it over", he would have at least been able to stay friends with Syd.

But honestly, I didn't even realize how mad I was until he picked me and made it seem like he was some kind of martyr for doing so. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

NTA. She’s obviously in love with him to be this jealous. Eventually she would have wormed her way back into his life and you would be second best.

Jsmith2127 said:

NTA if you have to think whether to choose me, or your manipulative friend, don't choose me.

Dear_Parsnip_6802 said:

NTA. If it took him 2 weeks to decide he does not love you in the way you love him. He's obviously clueless to how insulting his behavior was.

And DecadentLife said:

NTA. You are not responsible for his feelings. He’s an adult. Although, this drama belongs in middle school. Why are all of his friends chiming in? This is not a group conversation, and it’s none of their business. Date an adult. This guy isn’t there, yet.

She later shared this update:

Apparently, Syd has completely cut EXBF off and blocked him on everything. He is begging me to take him back, even contacting my friends to attempt to convince me (luckily, all my friends are telling him to eff off). He wrote me some 2000 word essay on how I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and that he was blinded by his happy childhood memories of Syd.

I also found out they slept together in the past before we started dating, so that's cool! But it was just "a one night stand" to "see what could have been." Either way, he was definitely hiding more about his relationship with Syd than I was told. I don't really care anymore. I'm not taking him back.

He's a grown-a$# man who should have known better than to ghost me for two weeks to "think it over" as if things would be the same after he decided to "pick me". Doubt anything else interesting will happen but I might update if it does. I'm honestly just hoping this will be a reality check for him, and he'll get the message. At least his friends have stopped bothering me.