'AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend?' 'He did something WEIRD at my best friend's wedding.'

"AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend after he did something weird at my best friend’s wedding?"

I (27F) have been with my boyfriend, Mark (29M), for about three years. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I thought we were in a really good place. Recently, my best friend, Rachel (28F), got married, and I was her maid of honor. It was a huge deal for her, and I was super excited to be by her side.

The wedding was beautiful, everything went smoothly, and Mark was with me as my plus-one. We were having a great time dancing, laughing, just enjoying the night. But then, during the reception, Mark did something completely unexpected.

So, Rachel and her new husband were dancing their first dance, and Mark was acting kind of off, which I chalked up to him just being nervous. Then, out of nowhere, he pulls me aside and says he wants to “talk” to me privately.

We step out to a quieter area, and he’s suddenly telling me that he doesn’t feel “ready for this kind of commitment.” Like, we’ve been talking about getting engaged for a while, and I was under the impression we were on the same page, but now he’s telling me that he doesn’t think he’s ready for marriage right there, at my best friend’s wedding.

I try to stay calm and ask him what he’s talking about, and he says it’s not just about me, but that he’s not sure about the whole “forever” thing. He’s just “having doubts” in general. This was coming out of nowhere, and I was shocked.

I told him I needed some space and walked back inside to be with my friends. I honestly just felt embarrassed at that point. It wasn’t the right time or place for that conversation, and it really put a damper on the night. Later on, I tried to talk to him about it again, but he kind of just brushed it off, saying it wasn’t a big deal and that he’d “sort himself out.”

Long story short, after thinking about it for a few days, I ended things with him. I told him that if he wasn’t sure about us, I couldn’t keep putting myself in a situation where I’m always uncertain of where we stand.

Now, some of my friends are telling me I overreacted, that maybe he just got caught up in the moment or was feeling anxious about the future. But I don’t know this felt like a huge red flag for me. It wasn’t just the timing, but the fact that he had doubts he didn’t bring up until then. So, AITA for ending things after that?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

thequiethunter said:

NTA. He told you to your face...you are not his one person. Believe him and go to find someone that needs you as much as you need them.

Pretty_Belt3490 said:

He did you a favor. You’re entering an exciting time in your life, your 30s are going to be a blast. Now you can have a chance to find your person. Relationships ALL have their ups and downs, but both people need to be working towards the same general goals. You’re not. Your person is out there!

Competitive_Key_2981 said:

He panicked when he was at an actual wedding for your friend. So he imbibed plenty of liquid courage and told you the truth. In vino veritas. You did you both a favor by ending it.

cathyreads123 said:

NTA if he’s not ready and you are, staying with him is a waste of your time. You did what was right for you! Staying would only make you unhappy long term. Congratulations on standing up for yourself. He sure picked a terrible time to tell you though. So sorry that happened.

Naive_Weather_162 said:

NTA I honestly think that people listening to friends is why there are so many people in bad relationships. We should listen and trust our guts more.

CasuallyCruising said:

NTA You absolutely did not overreact. I suspect, but can't know, that you have been either missing or overlooking the various signs that he's not committed for quite some time. He picked a horrible time to drop this bit on you, which shows just how immature he is.

Do yourself a favor, don't look back. Going back to him is the "easy" thing to do. Stand up for yourself and what you want out of life, because he clearly does not share those same needs & desires.

Puck_The_Fey98 said:

NTA. I told the man I’m currently seeing that my goal for a relationship is to be married and settle down with someone. If it wasn’t his vibe he was free to leave but he agrees! When a guy tells you they are having doubts that to me says it’s over. Was it good timing? No absolutely not! He should have picked a better time.

Moon_whisper said:

NTA. He said he won't marry you. What's more, he made your friend's wedding about him. That is a completely selfish, bullsh!t move. Good for you for ending things. Just tell people that your future goals no longer align, so you are not compatible. He wanted his freedom, and you (very kindly) gave it to him.