'AITA for breaking up with my fiancée?' 'She refused to sign a prenup.'
"AITA for breaking up with my fiancée because she refused to sign a prenup?"
I (34M) have been dating my fiancée (31F) for three years, and we recently got engaged. I’ve worked hard throughout my life to build my business, and I have a significant amount of assets.
Before we got engaged, I mentioned to her that I would want a prenuptial agreement to protect what I’ve earned in case anything happens in the future. She seemed understanding at the time, and I thought we were on the same page.
However, when it came time to actually sign the prenup, she refused. She said that it felt like I didn’t trust her and that it was insulting to ask her to sign something that implied our marriage might end. She told me that marriage should be about trust and commitment, not legal documents. I tried to explain that it’s just a precaution and that it doesn’t mean I don’t trust her, but she wasn’t convinced.
This disagreement has put a strain on our relationship. I love her, but I’ve seen too many friends go through messy divorces and lose everything they’ve worked for. I told her that without a prenup, I wouldn’t feel comfortable moving forward with the marriage. She was devastated and accused me of valuing money over our relationship.
We ended up breaking off the engagement, and now I’m questioning whether I made the right choice. My friends are divided; some say I was smart to protect my assets, while others believe I was too harsh and that I let a legal document ruin our relationship. Was I wrong for insisting on a prenup, even if it meant ending the relationship?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
stealthdawg said:
A prenup already exists, in a sense. It's just defaulted to the laws of your State on how divorces are handled. A prenup just means you get to set the terms more in line with how you want them. It's just insurance. Buying life insurance doesn't mean you think you will die prematurely. It means if the worst case happens you have a plan.
adobeacrobatreader said:
NTA. Protect yourself and your hard work. If she can't accept it, then you're not meant to be. 43% of all marriages eventually die. If I told you to go skydiving with only a 57% chance of your parachute opening would you do it? I don't think so. So don't get married without a prenup.
Apart-Scene-9059 said:
NTA: I would have looked at her and said fine let's not get married. Why would you need a "legal document" saying your married.
TripleNubz said:
I mean what were the terms of the prenup? Probably NTA though.
SparkleTraveler said:
NTA!!! ALWAYS protect your assets.
Itchy_Lingonberry_11 said:
Unless you built your wealth together, no one should be entitled to it, married or not. NTA.
Adventurous-travel1 said:
NTA - as someone who didn’t push the prenup and lost 1/2 of something he didn’t even put a penny into. It was a second punch to the gut.
IdolatryofCalvin said:
NTA. Guess what marriage is? It’s a legal document. If she won’t sign, she is valuing money over the relationship.