'AITA for breaking up with my fiancée?' 'She surprised me on my vacation with my sibling.'
"AITA for breaking up with my fiancée after she surprised me on my vacation with my sibling?"
My fiancée and I were together for 3 years, and I proposed to her 5 months ago. We had our wedding scheduled for December. I love my fiancée but one thing which always bothered me was her insecurity.
Her previous partner of 4 years cheated on her, and she had a hard time trusting anyone after that. My fiancee was very overbearing and sort of protective, and I had to slowly cut off contact with 2 of my women friends because of her insecurities. She also needed a lot of reassurances.
However, it did not bother me too much because I did love my fiancée, and did want to spend the rest of my life with her. That’s why I proposed to her, and that’s why we had made life plans.
Now to give some backstory, my family (mom, dad, sister, and me) had a tradition where we went on a 1 week vacation to a different state every year. We had this tradition since I was a kid, and we did it every year without fail even when my sister and I became adults.
However, over the past 6 years, it’s just been me and my sister taking the vacation, as our parents have become old and they just don’t have the energy anymore. We decided to take the vacation at Aspen, Colorado this year in August. My fiancée wanted to come to Colorado too, but I told her this was a family tradition, and she had already gone on a vacation with me a few months ago.
So my sister and I took the vacation in August. I told my fiancée the hotel and room number I would be in. My fiancée always wants these details when I go on any vacation without her, and I always give them to her. I saw no issues with it, it was just my fiancée’s insecurities again.
But a couple of days into our vacation, early morning, my fiancée had knocked the room of the hotel my sister and I were at. My fiancée had booked a ticket to surprise me, and while she was very excited to see us, my sister was less than thrilled.
In fact, she was pretty pissed, but she acted normal in front of my fiancée to maintain some decorum. Later, she asked me in private if my fiancée was someone I really wanted to marry, and that if I did marry her, she would probably isolate me from my family too.
The remaining 3 days of the vacation was sort of awkward, however my fiancée was oblivious to it. But by the end of the vacation, I had reached my tipping point, and when we came back home, I broke up with fiancée.
I didn’t want to break her heart, and I’m really worried about how she’s handing the break up, but I just don’t think my fiancée and I are compatible to live together for life. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Fluid-Hunt465 said:
NTA. Your fiancée wasn’t oblivious to it. She knew but she didn’t care. Run.
ImaginaryWorld851 said:
NTA. You made the right call breaking up. Your fiancée's behavior was way out of line. Showing up uninvited on your family trip? That's a huge red flag. She was already making you cut off friends and needed constant reassurance. That's not healthy. Your sister saw the warning signs. Trust your gut and don't feel bad about ending it.
No_Coach_9914 said:
NTA your sister is absolutely right. Why tf would she have a reason to be insecure that you're spending time with your sister? She will absolutely attempt to isolate you from your family. Ugh I cringed reading this.
Nobody_asked_me1990 said:
NTA. Relationships that do not have trust do not work. If she can’t trust you with your family, and she resorts to extreme measures to keep tabs on you and control who you talk to, she is not in the right state of mind to maintain any kind of healthy romantic relationship.
In the long run this will wear you down to the point of not having contact with family and friends because it’s easier to not have to constantly explain yourself all the time. This happened to my bf, his ex was an absolute nightmare of insecurity.
nome5314 said:
Nta. You should've left when she made you cut ties with your friends. That's not OK!
annang said:
NTA. She needs some serious therapy before she's ready to be in a relationship with anyone. Try to get your friends back.