'AITA for breaking up with my BF because he forgot me at the airport?' + 1 Year 'Cringe' Update
"AITA for breaking up with my BF because he forgot me at the airport?"
I (28, F) have been in a long-distance relationship for about 5 months with Erik (M, 28, fake name). He lives in a town that either takes 12 hours to drive to, 7 hours by train, or an hour flight.
Valentine’s Day was coming up, so I bought a flight to go see him so we could spend a week together and celebrate together. When I got up in the morning I started sending him snaps of me getting to the airport, and about being exited to see him.
When I got to the airport I messaged him that I would see him in a bit, but there was no reply. This is when my gut feeling started telling me something was off, but I pushed it away, hoping that I was just overreacting.
When I landed I messaged him that I would see him soon, but to no reply. I was still hoping so hard. When the arrivals door opened I was so hopeful that he was there, but in the end I was heartbroken to see he wasn’t.
I felt so undervalued and embarrassed that I started crying in a corner of the airport. I had only come to this city to see him, and I was staying with him so what was I gonna do? I called him over and over to no reply, then decided EFF him, I’m gonna go do my own thing.
I ended up at a pub (drinking tea) and after about an hour there he messaged me, not called, but sent me a damn message. His excuse was that he had “fallen asleep” and that he was sorry.
I honestly felt so betrayed because how can I not be worth setting a damn alarm? In the end I ended up staying with him because I couldn’t afford a hotel or to change my flight, and that’s when I found out that he was staying up at night playing video games.
When I got home I decided that I couldn’t be with someone who undervalues me so much and broke up with him. At the time he agreed, but now he’s sent me a love letter declaring his love and that he’s sorry for everything and doesn’t want to lose me.
I feel like I’m overthinking things and just need some advice. Did I overreact to him not picking me up at the airport? AITA for breaking up with my BF because he forgot me at the airport?
Edit to clarify: We made these plans together two months before I left. He was well aware of when and where I was arriving, and he was the one who offered to come get me. Secondly I posted here about this now because I just received the love letter today.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
It took him 7 months to send that letter? After he “fell asleep” and forgot to get you at the airport after you spent money, effort and time to come see him? Honey….throw the letter where it belongs, in the trash, next to him.
Wasn’t Valentine’s Day 7 months ago? It’s like he finished playing a long video game and suddenly realized he has no girlfriend anymore. What a dud. Ignore him. NTA.
You already know what to do. Your bf is not mature yet. He plays videos into the wee hours and "forgot" you. Leave him to his games and move on.
NTA. Leave him now. He should've been so filled with joy that you were coming that he couldn't sleep. I would find a new bf.
I … get making a mistake. Even missing the alarm, or falling asleep. What stands out is how he responded to this, just sent you a quick text? No call, no profusely apologizing?
No make it up, no nothing? That’s why you should break up. People make mistakes. It happens and will always happen. It’s how you handle those mistakes that matters.
A year later, the OP returned with a 'cringe' update.
Just to be clear the cringe is me, hilariously dumb, but cringe all the same. I’ve hesitated to post this because if this gets back to him, he’ll definitely know it’s about him.
So it’s been almost a year since I (29F) posted my story about breaking up with my ex (28M) and I just want to give a quick thank you to everyone who reached out and reality checked me. I needed it. Y’all are da bomb.
Now, on to my updated:
So I took y’all’s advice, ish, and stuck to my guns about being broken up. But I’m the kinda person who hates being the bad guy, so, I told him we could still be friends and he accepted.
Looking back I definitely think he was hoping for another chance. We kept hanging out every so often and it was a good time. Couple weeks go by and I met someone new, and I wanted to do the right thing and tell my ex in person.
So after a hang out I’m walking with him to the bus, nervous af (cause I hate confrontation) and I’m thinking “wow, it’s now or never”. So I took a breath and proceeded:
Me: “So, I wanted to tell you something because I wanted to be honest with you”
Ex: looking a bit trepidatious “okaay”
Me: “I wanted to let you know that I’ve started seeing someone, and you know, give you a heads up”
Ex: silence
Ex: now starting to rub his head and looking a sad “I had a nightmare last night, where you told me you were dating someone, and now this happens…”
Me: has no idea wtf to say to that, brain black out I have no idea wtf came over me, but I proceeded to raise my hands and give JAZZ HANDS and say in a kinda chocked off small voice:
Me: “You have powers” (said like pooooooweeeers)
Now, to this day I still don’t know why tf I did what I did, and it still cracks me up, I mean, where the heck did that come from??? My friends think it’s hilarious and my mom just gave me a high five while laughing.
My ex just turned around and walked into the darkness and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I guess I unlocked a secret hack in the game of life. I hope y’all enjoy this story as much as I do. The End.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s update:
Okay that’s funny 😂😂 How’s your relationship with your current partner going?
Ok_Pirate_4219 (OP)
It didn’t really go anywhere, but he was a good guy all the same😁 Thanks for asking.
He was trying to make you feel guilty and sorry for him, but you deflected in the best way possible!! You didn't give him the pity and fawning attention he was aiming for -instead you turned his dramatics into the joke they were and called out his silly preciousness.
I once dated a loser like him. Minimum effort in everything except gaming and excuses. And the obvious emotional manipulation where he feels SO BAD that you called him out on his BS, that he expects you to comfort HIM. 🙄😒
That's amazing, you're definitely the one with magic powers, one jazz hands and the guy disappears!
OMG, lmao this story had me rolling! Gotta say, your timing for jazz hands could've been better, but hey, you're a legend now. That's some next-level way of dealing with awkward convos. Keep rockin' those 'poooooweeeers', girl.