'AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she got really aggressive when I didn't tip?'
"AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she got really aggressive when I didn't tip?"
I had been dating a single mother for a little over six months now. It began casually and got more serious than I think either of us planned. We agreed that if we hit six months then I would meet her son.
Our date when I met him started off strong. We went to see Inside Out 2, the new Pixar movie. Then we went for lunch at a casual sit down restaurant. The kid was really well behaved and polite. I was a brat when I was six so I was super impressed.
After lunch we went for dessert at an ice cream chain where you pick your ice cream then they put it on a cold stone and use tools to mix in other ingredients. We decided in advance that we would all have ice cream sandwiches.
I thought it would be cool to make a mix and match sandwich with two different flavor of cookies and then a custom filling. It turns out that isn't an option. They had ten pre-made combinations in the freezer with the ice cream cakes. There were some good choices so we all got something we wanted.
The problem was at the counter. the machine came up with a tip option and I skipped it. The girl behind the counter did nothing at all besides point us to the freezer and then ring us up. I don't think either of those actions is tip worthy. If she had made the sandwiches then I would have tipped.
After I took them home I got a text from her about I was cheap not to tip at the ice cream place. I explained my logic that I did not get any service so why would I tip. She got very strident and actually called me to say that I behaved poorly and to give me sh%t for not tipping.
I thought about this for a while and decided I did not need this sh$t. So I texted her that I did not really see a future for us and that I did not want to waste her time so it would be best if we went our separate ways.
She got really upset and said I was throwing away our relationship over $3. I said that it wasn't the money but that she thought she had the right to tell me how to behave and to yell at me over $3. We did not even hold hands in front of her kid and she only introduced me as a friend so it isn't like the kid thinks of me as anything at all.
My sister thinks I should give my ex another chance now that she understands my feelings about tipping. I told her that it wasn't about the tipping it was about her getting upset over something so minor. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ToThePillory said:
NTA, as you say, it's not really about tipping or not tipping, it's more about her reaction. If you've been dating for six months and this will break you up, the relationship probably wasn't going anywhere anyway.
theory240 said:
NTA. I don't tip for counter service either and won't take sh$t from anyone over it. You did the right thing.
Prestigious-Maybe-73 said:
NTA. I would not tip in that situation either and it is a red flag for sure that she thinks she can yell at you over something like that.
Ruby-Skylar said:
NTA If she felt that strongly about it she could have pulled out some cash and tipped herself. She just wanted to $itch. Why? Don't know.
exhaustedrefinery said:
NTA. You made the right decision to end the relationship, as her inability to have a rational discussion and her aggressive response to your perspective were red flags. It's best to move on and find someone who respects your views and communicates in a healthy manner.
wpgjudi said:
NTA. I am a firm believer in tipping...When the situation calls for tipping...You know what doesn't call for tipping? A simple retail transaction. Is this girl gonna go tipping when shopping for clothes? Having food involved does not automatically mean tipping!!