'AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend?' 'She went back to a party without telling me.'
"AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend after she went back to a party without telling me?"
We've been dating only a few months now. We're both in our early twenties. We live in the same small town, although she recently just moved here, and we started dating. One of my co-workers was having a little party at his house on Saturday night. He invited me and I brought my girlfriend along. She knows my co-worker and a lot of my friends by now- so we pretty much all knew each other.
We arrived maybe by 9PM. We had some drinks and my girlfriend wanted to go to the bar, so we left and went to the bar. It was a short walk across town. We had another couple drinks at the bar and played some pool. At around midnight, she wanted to leave and go back to my friends party. I was already buzzed and said that I would rather just go back to my place- with her.
She said that she needed to take a shower before coming over to my place and I walked her back to her car. She offered to drive me home, and I let her. (Before anyone gets up in arms, I think she had maybe 2 beers at the bar and didn't even drink the second one all the way) and I could tell she wasn't drunk.
Instead of her showering at her place, I said she could just shower at mine and we can eat something and watch a movie. She still insisted on going home and showering.
I didn't hear from her for like 2 hours and was pretty annoyed. I saw that my buddy posted a Snapchat story and I saw my girlfriend in the background. I texted him and asked if she was still there, he said "yes."
I got no texts from her that whole entire night. The next morning she texted me and tried to say that she went home and fell asleep, but I told her I knew she was lying. She then said that she went back to the party for a couple minutes and lost track of time and her phone died and she couldn't text me.
I asked another one of my buddies if anything happened while I was gone, and he flat out told me that he wouldn't trust her. And I don't. I told her that I didn't want to pursue the relationship any further. I'm not quite as upset that she went back to the party as I am she tried to lie about it.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
annabellespirals said:
She sounds like she's waiting for you to dump her by being disrespectful but doesn't want to do it herself. I wouldn't trust her. NTA.
Cybermagetx said:
NTA. She wanted someone there. She can have them. She lied to you. And ignored you. And is an idiot as it was your friends party. You just had to ask them.
HigherGearFiend said:
She slept with someone from the party, your “friends” know who and aren’t telling you. I would distance myself from all of them. NTA.
onthegophotobooth said:
NTA. It sounds like you had a pretty reasonable expectation for her to keep you in the loop, especially since you were together that night. If she really lost track of time, she could've at least shot you a quick text.
Trust is crucial in a relationship, and her trying to cover it up raises some major red flags. Better to find out early than later, right? You deserve someone who respects your feelings and communicates openly.
SecretaryPresent16 said:
NTA. She’s very shady. Did she honestly think you wouldn’t find she you went to the party with YOUR friends?
sourplumgirl said:
NTA. It's completely understandable that you're feeling hurt and upset about your girlfriend's actions. Trust is a crucial foundation in any relationship, and when she chose to go back to the party without informing you and then lied about it, it undermined that trust.