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Bride approves guest's saree, 'she'd be glad to have some culture,' then accuses guest of 'upstaging.' AITA?

Bride approves guest's saree, 'she'd be glad to have some culture,' then accuses guest of 'upstaging.' AITA?


"AITA for 'upstaging the bride' with an outfit that was approved prior to the wedding?"

It was my first Western wedding, so I was careful about avoiding any culture gaffe. I'm friends with the groom & asked him for the dress code. It was dressing up to our nines in neutrals & pastels. I have this lovely saree that fit the bill. I sent him a picture & he said it's perfect.

5 months before the wedding, I met the bride with many other of the groom's friends at a bar. I showed her pictures of the saree to ask if it was appropriate. I also told her I'd be happy to buy a new outfit if it wasn't. So whatever she says will go. She said it was delightful & she'd be glad to have some "culture" added to her wedding pictures (lol ikr?)

The day arrived. Friends stayed in the back for the ceremony, so there weren't many eyes on me. For the reception, the bride changed into a gown that could be best described as greyish white. It was the same fabric as my outfit. The majority & outer layer of her gown was still white.

Only the embroidery was the same color as my saree & the underneath fabric had a hint of the same grey as mine (thus making it greyish). The groom, his mother, & our friends complimented me for how nice I looked. The groom's mother especially loved it as she kept coming up to me to compliment me more. She's half-Indian & was brought up in the country.

She too had worn a saree for the special day & seeing someone else in it seemed to be sentimental for her. The bride & her bridesmaids, though, were a different ballgame. The bride gave me the stink eye. A bridesmaid tried to spill her drink on me. Another commented if my outfit was going to turn out white in the pictures. When we showed up to get group pictures done, I thoughtlessly ended up standing next to the couple.

The bride made moves so that I ended up at the very corner by the time the photographer started clicking. As we stood in a group for the bouquet throwing thingy, the maid of honor asked if I'm going to try to catch it like I haven't gotten enough attention for the day. On our way back, I asked my friends if my behavior or outfit was inappropriate. They didn't think anything of it. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

FragrantEconomist386 said:

NTA. You just met a school of mean girls. There is no telling what such people will get up to. I think you had taken every possible precaution with your outfit, in fact much more than most people would have.

tsweetsie said:

NTA. I won't lie, I was a little concerned about the color when I clicked on your pictures link. But if the bride approved it, she doesn't get to change her mind on the day of... Of course you were going to get attention on the day for wearing a saree and adding "culture" but she made a mistake. Oh well.

I never understand brides who want everyone else to never get complimented for their outfits. Sure, it's their wedding day, other people can't look nice? Dress code should be burlap sack then, I guess?

I'd probably recommend going for a saree nowhere near white for western weddings going forward though. :) It'll save an "accidental" drink spill on future.

2tinymonkeys said:

Huh? How on earth is she even surprised? She saw the pictures... she approved the dress beforehand... And now all of the sudden she's upset with your outfit? NTA. You asked her and she approved the outfit. She should have spoken up when you asked or even a couple days later would be okay too. But not giving you the stink eye on the big day itself after having approved and known of the dress.

Perfect_Calendar9847 said:

If you hadn’t shown the bride a photo prior to the wedding I’d vote differently but you did show her. You asked her opinion, and the opinions of several other people. Maybe she thought it was a darker grey than it is? But it’s pretty clear in the picture that it’s a light grey…Sounds like you just came upon petty mean girls who peaked in high school and have never left that mentality behind. NTA.

AccomplishedNose9541 said:

NTA, it sounds like the bride was being really friendly and kind, but as soon a other peoples' opinions came in she second-guessed the choice she made about your outfit. Her friends were being abominably rude and had no respect for your feelings. Sounds like a bit of cultural peer pressure around color choice.

DuchessOfAquitaine said:

NTA. I think it was very considerate of you to get her approval before the wedding. Apparently she should have shown it to her friends before rendering judgement. That way she could have known much sooner that she DIDN'T like it. Mean girls gonna mean girl.

WomanInQuestion said:

NTA - sounds like the bride was a bit jealous of the positive attention you got from her MIL

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this situation?

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