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Bride asks if she's 'selfish' for refusing to let fiancé’s friend propose at wedding.

Bride asks if she's 'selfish' for refusing to let fiancé’s friend propose at wedding.

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Proposing at a wedding is usually a faux pas, but what if there are special circumstances?

So, when a conflicted bride decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet, people were dying for the details of the wedding gossip.

AITA for refusing to let me and my fiancé’s best friend propose at my wedding?

For some context : I F26 met my M26 fiancé in college along with our two best friends we’ll call them John M 26 and Holly F26. They’ve also been together since college like me and my fiancé.

So we’ve been inseparable since going on double dates and trips together and have had an amazing time post college.

My fiancé proposed to me last year and it’s all been very exciting wedding planning has been stressful and exciting and Holly is my bridesmaid and John is my fiancé’s best man.

Our wedding is February next year and in the midst of planning last night John came over to our house and said that he wanted to propose to Holly! Me and my fiancé were over for the moon for him and I was excited for another wedding!

So I asked him when he planned to propose and that we’d be down to help with the proposal and everything. He smiled and then said that he was thankful and said that he’d love to propose to Holly at our wedding.

Before I said anything he showed me a video of a bride giving her bridesmaid her bouquet instead of tossing it and then the man proposing he then said I’d love to do something like this. I was sort of speechless as was my fiancé.

So he then asked us would that be okay. I took a deep breath and said no John it wouldn’t be okay.

As much as I love you and Holly and more than happy for you guys are getting engaged I don’t want that done at my wedding but I’d be more than happy to help you plan a separate event and I think Holly wouldn’t be too thrilled to get proposed at someone’s wedding.

Holly had told me before that she found people who get engaged at people’s weddings tacky.

I told him that but he wouldn’t budge. He got angry and said we were being selfish but not allowing him this one small favor and if the roles were reversed he’d say okay in a heart beat.

I reiterated to him that Holly wouldn’t want this and she’d want her own event. He kept saying you’re lying you just don’t want us to be engaged you just want all the attention to yourselves.

This is where I might feel like I’m the a-hole. I blew up at him and called him tacky and cheap! I said us and our families aren’t not shelling out thousands for you to propose at our wedding.

It’s embarrassing you can propose to Holly even a day after or day the before or even the day of but just not at my wedding or venue. Holly will cringe and find it embarrassing.

He said he didn’t think he’d been friends with such selfish and rude people for all these years. My fiancé reiterated everything I’d said and then My fiancé told him to leave and he left.

Now it’s awkward Holly has no idea what happened and we all had a trip booked for next month and now I don’t want to go. I’m very upset with John and he hasn’t apologized.

I don’t know what to tell Holly I don’t want to lie to her but I don’t want to ruin the surprise of her possible proposal. A part of feels bad but I want to stick to my guns.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say here...

avocadosdontbite said:

NTA. John's idea is tacky. You and your husband should be the only focus on your wedding day. Holly wouldn't even like it.

There are literally no upsides to this. I can understand he's bummed his first idea wasn't a hit, but he needs to get over it and go back to the drawing board.

Silent-Total-9586 said:

NTA - he called you rude and selfish?? Someone who gets mad because the couple getting married wants the attention on themselves ; has he ever been to a wedding???

stroppo said:

NTA. John's reaction is very weird, to blow up the friendship over this issue. If Holly talks to you, I would say you and your fiance had an argument with John, and if she wants to know more she should talk to John first.

That way you won't spoil the proposal. Of course John will paint you in the worst light, but it's likely this friendship is over anyway. Then hopefully she will reach out to you to hear your side. I would not go on the trip, it's sure to be awkward.

ravinred said:

NTA. It's your day, you don't have to share it.

SeeYouNextThorsday said:

“You want all the attention to yourselves.” Um, yes. What part of the bills is he paying on your wedding day? NTA, and he’s entitled spoiled brat.

Note to all wedding guests out there: someone else's wedding is not your excuse to propose!

Sources: Reddit
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