Bride forces MIL to buy a different dress, 'it was a freaking wedding dress!'
Someone needs to do a serious investigation on the age-old problem of why mothers-of-the-groom insist on showing up to their sons' weddings in white lace wedding gowns...
Until we get a deep dive docu-series to solve this problem, though, we'll have to seek answers in the wonderful world of Reddit. So, when a conflicted bride decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as 'Am I the As^hole' about forcing her MIL to buy a new gown, people were ready to help deem a verdict.
AITA (Am I the As%hole) for making my MIL buy a different dress for my wedding?
When my husband and I were getting married, both sides of the family were really excited. During the planning, one thing you do is coordinate what colors/outfits people in the wedding party will wear.
I was talking to my MIL about our plans and told her our color schemes. She was excited to buy a dress and while I didn’t really care if they matched the bridal party, she said she wanted to complement the color scheme.
My bridesmaids were wearing Navy Blue and the groomsmen were wearing Grey suits. My MIL said she was going to let my mom pick her dress first and then go off of that.
A few weeks later, out of the blue I got a text from her saying she picked her dress. I was surprised since she said she’d let my mom go first, I didn’t even know she was going shopping. But then she sent a picture of her dress.
It was a freaking wedding dress!! It was an ivory color, lots of beading, and it even had a small train. She kept saying it was “cream champagne” colored, but it was basically a wedding dress. My own dress was ivory and they looked like the same color. Hers honestly had even more detail than mine.
I basically didn’t respond to her text at first. I was so annoyed and I told my husband (then fiancé) to deal with it. I told her she needed to return it and she wouldn’t be wearing it to the wedding. She needed to get something else.
She wasn’t able to return the dress because most dress places have a no-returns policy, so she had to eat the cost of it. She ended up buying another dress but she wasn’t happy about it and was angry she had to spend double the money.
Anyone I’ve told this story to has had one of two reactions: either she was totally not cool for doing that, or I was being a total bridezilla by making her buy a second dress.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this:
teresajs said:
NTA. You know what dress places have no return policies? Bridal dress shops. Your MIL bought a wedding dress. She's got no room to complain if she wasn't allowed to wear it.
s-mores said:
NTA. You don't wear white to someone else's wedding. You DEFINITELY do not wear white for your son's wedding.
She's not spending double money, she spent money for the dress she's going to wear, and then she spent some money on a wedding dress because she's delusional.
I'd work on your husband a bit to make sure he knows the ONLY CORRECT RESPONSE if anyone complains about it -- 'I'm marrying one woman that day, and it ain't my mom.' NTA.
UnazKiim said:
NTA. Even the calmest of brides would be annoyed at this. Everyone should know you don't wear a white (or even off white) dress to a wedding. It's a matter of common sense. The fact that it even had a train and more detailing than yours makes it even weirder that she got it.
rammy3314 said:
NTA It’s common courtesy not to wear anything even close to white to someone’s wedding.
C0pper-an0de said:
NTA. Has this woman ever been to a wedding before? This is beginner-level wedding etiquette.
flora_pompeii said:
NTA, there is no way she doesn't know better.
Thrwforksandknives said:
NTA. She bought a wedding dress for your wedding after agreeing to let your mother pick a dress first.