Bride bans best friend's fiancé from proposing at her wedding, 'it would be romantic.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to let my best friend’s fiancé propose at my wedding?"
So, I (30F) got married last month to the love of my life, and everything went off without a hitch—except for one awkward moment. A week before the wedding, my best friend, “Maya” (29F), asked if her fiancé “Jake” (28M) could propose to her at my reception. Apparently, Jake thought it would be "romantic" and was convinced that it would make their moment more special.
Now, I love Maya, but the idea of having my wedding overshadowed by their proposal didn’t sit right with me. I politely said no and suggested they have their own special day. Maya seemed a little disappointed, but she said she understood.
On the wedding day, I noticed Maya and Jake were acting distant, and it was clear something was off. I later found out that Jake was upset with me for “ruining his plan” and felt like I’d been selfish for not allowing them to share in the love of the day. AITA for refusing to let them have their proposal at my wedding, or was I being selfish by not letting them make it a double celebration?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
anxiety_watermelon said:
NTA. Your wedding day is about celebrating you and your partner, not serving as a backdrop for someone else’s proposal. Proposals at weddings are often seen as inappropriate because they can shift the focus away from the couple being celebrated, which is exactly why you were right to say no.
Honestly, your friend should have known better than to ask in the first place. It’s common sense that it’s rude to make someone else’s wedding about you, and I don’t understand why she even thought that would be okay. It’s your day, not an open mic for other people’s romantic gestures.
You weren’t selfish—you were just setting a completely reasonable boundary. Stand by your decision, and don’t feel bad for keeping the spotlight where it belonged: on you and your partner.
Gabrielalliz said:
A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event for the couple getting married. It’s completely reasonable to want it to be about you.
Individual_Ad_9213 said:
NTA. There should be a special place in the afterlife for people who hijack others' special events (weddings, birthdays, engagement parties, funerals (!), anniversaries, etc.) to announce their own special event. My only exception to this rule would be if an unexpected emergency or family tragedy takes place during/just-before said event.
H8MakingAccounts said:
NTA and...why is SHE asking if she can get proposed TO at your wedding. That means the proposal has effectively already happened and they are just putting on a play for attention.
PharmCath said:
NTA: If SHE asked if HE could propose to her at your wedding - they were not asking for a proposal, they were asking you to subsidise their engagement party. If it is planned by the couple together, then it is no longer a "proposal."
Spiritual-Phoenix said:
NTA. Can we normalize wedding days being about the bride and groom only? No proposals, no baby announcements, no one stealing the show… it should be about the two people listed on the invitation. If there is one day two people should get to enjoy being solely about them, it’s their wedding day.