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Bride bans fiancé's stepsister from wedding based on her behavior at engagement party. AITA?

Bride bans fiancé's stepsister from wedding based on her behavior at engagement party. AITA?

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"AITA for asking my boyfriend not to invite his stepsister to our wedding because of the trouble she caused at our engagement party?"

So my bf and I are getting married next year, so far we're on the same page about everything with the guestlist- except for his stepsister. They didn't grow up together, but their parents married when my boyfriend was in his early twenties. I've struggled to get along with her in the past, I feel like she's never really liked me, and things came to a head at our engagement party a few months ago.

We'd planned a small speech at the end of the night to thank everyone for coming, and share a few words about how much we appreciated their support. My boyfriend's stepsister decided to jump in uninvited right before we spoke.

She grabbed the mic and went into a long , rambling toast that quickly became all about her - complete with inside jokes no one understood, passive aggressive comments about us as a couple, and even an embarrassing story about my boyfriend from a few years before we met.

It went on for so long that eventually we had to physically remove the mic from her hands (she didn't want to give it up). Several of our guests mentioned how awkward and uncomfortable it was afterwards. My boyfriend tried to smooth things over with her later on, but she didn't apologize, instead she brushed it off like she hadn't done anything and accused me of being overly sensitive.

Now we're finalizing the guest list and I told my bf I do not feel comfortable having her at our wedding. I feel like she'll find another way to make the day about herself or pull a similar stunt, meanwhile he insists that she’s family and I’m being unreasonable by excluding her. He suggested we sit down with her to set clear boundaries, but I don't trust her to respect them.

He says excluding her will cause unnecessary drama and I shouldn't be putting him in this position, I understand where he's coming from but I really feel like having her there is just inviting trouble.

There's already enough to stress about without having to worry about her being there. AITA for not wanting her at the wedding? I feel like the rest of the family should understand after what she did at our engagement party.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Grinderspoons said:

"He says excluding her will cause unnecessary drama and I shouldn't be putting him in this position." Allowing her to come and cause drama and make you uncomfortable on your wedding day is unnecessary and he shouldn't be putting YOU in that situation. NTA.

calacmack said:

He has put himself in this position, not you. He should talk to his step-sister about her behavior at the party and tell her that he is worried that she might make a scene at the wedding. If she does apologize and promise to lay low during the wedding and reception then perhaps she should be included. Otherwise her invite should be off the table. NTA.

babythrottlepop said:

NTA. She will 100% ruin your wedding. She’s already proven it by doing what she did. So you’re not assuming or creating unnecessary drama. You are assessing facts and drawing reasonable conclusions.

And not to be the typical “run girl” reddit post, but if he seriously doesn’t see the issue, are you absolutely sure you want to legally tie yourself to this man? People can have blind spots and maybe he’ll come around but damn, that would really take me out of it, personally.

fatherted98 said:

NTA. Yeah having not even admitted she’s done anything wrong at the engagement party means her word to not pull similar stunts at the wedding is useless. I guess it depends if this is gonna be a hill you willing to die on If it is I guess you could call of the wedding or make it clear that whatever his stepsister pulls during the wedding will be on him and he may not have a long marriage as a consequence.

wlfwrtr said:

NTA. She definitely will. Either elope or put marriage on hold. If you marry while disagreeing about anything it will lead to resentment. If she does cause a scene you'll resent BF for forcing the invite. If he uninvites her and family gets mad he won't resent her for causing it, he'll resent you. His family will also resent you. Your marriage will end in divorce before it even gets a chance.

Decent-Incident747 said:

NTA it's YOUR wedding remind him of that or marry someone that will have YOUR back not his "stepsister's."

Sources: Reddit
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