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Bride bans MIL from 'getting ready activities,' 'she goes out of her way to bully me.' AITA?

Bride bans MIL from 'getting ready activities,' 'she goes out of her way to bully me.' AITA?


"AITA for not including my future mother in law getting ready actives the morning of our wedding?"

Would I (28F) be the ahole if I did not invite my future mother in law to getting ready with my mom, sister and I the morning of our wedding? Back story: my future husband’s (29M) mother is the type of woman that goes out of her way to bully me.

When I point it out to my future husband he says “that’s the way my dad’s mom treated her” or “that’s just who she is.” Most recently, she posted something for my fiancé’s birthday which included 20 photos, none of which I was in. We get married in 5 weeks and we have been together for 7 years, I don’t think it’s unrealistic for me to feel like she went out of her way to make sure I wasn’t in a single photo.

This is just a single most recent example of her bullying. She loves attention, talking about herself, and talking at you instead of with you. Being around her is miserable but they do live a few hours away.She is the type of mother that doesn’t believe I am good enough to marry her son, so I don’t feel guilty not including her in the morning of the wedding, but I’d like to make sure I’m not totally in the wrong.


I forgot to add, when he called her out for no photos of me, she added one… a horribly unflattering photo of him and I with me in a bikini. We have so many nice pictures and she chose that one…

Another example of her bullying is that one time when she was in town, we went to dinner with her and our friends. She paid for everyone at the table except me, made it a point to tell the waitress that “I’ll be paying for everyone at the table except her.”

She ignores me in my own house and if I touch my fiance once she has to touch him twice. She hangs on him and calls him babe, it makes my fiance uncomfortable and he has made comments to her before. I just don’t see this getting better and I don’t know what to do.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

karlmarxel said:

NTA, I feel like it’s typical for the brides family/wedding party to get ready with the bride and the groom's family/wedding party gets ready with the groom. and that aside, you should have full autonomy of who’s in the room with you when you get ready for your special day.

Don’t feel about about excluding someone who clearly doesn’t value you and she shouldn’t get the privilege of watching you get dolled up with your own mom.

I also hope you and your future husband can come to an understanding about how she treats you and that it’s not okay or justifiable that she treats you poorly because she was. this issue will just carry into your marriage and will cause major issues.

Reasonable_Bit_5230 said:

NTA She will get worse when you have children tho. Trust me.

[deleted] said:

NTA but I’d seriously reconsider this marriage. It’s not going to get better. I’m so sorry.

CandylandCanada said:

NTA. Hope that you aren't going into this marriage thinking that she will change, or your husband will grow a spine, or that they are far enough away that it doesn't matter. She won't, he likely won't and there's not enough distance on the planet.

kiwimuz said:

NTA. Disinvite her from your wedding as well. She doesn’t deserve to be at your wedding if she doesn’t support it. Your day so go bully free without her there.

PurpleStar1965 said:

NTA This is a time for you and your sister and mother to spend together. To reminisce and laugh. Just you three. You deserve a fun, light, stress free getting ready time before your wedding. Honestly, I would say just you three even if you didn’t have the demon MIL. But since she is a demon I say bar the door and salt the threshold.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit
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