So, I (29F) am getting married in May to my fiancé, Alex (30M). We’ve been together for five years, and he’s truly the love of my life. For context, my sister, Emma (27F), and I have always had a bit of a rocky relationship. She’s more outspoken and opinionated, while I’m a bit more reserved.
Last month, we had a family dinner at my parents’ house. Everything was going fine until Emma made a comment about Alex “mooching off me” because I earn slightly more than him. For the record, Alex works full-time, contributes equally to our household, and is financially independent. But Emma insisted that “a man should be the provider” and said I’d regret marrying him.
I told her she was being rude and asked her to stop, but she doubled down, saying Alex was just “settling” for me because of my income. Alex was visibly upset, though he didn’t say anything, and we ended up leaving early. I later texted Emma, telling her she owed Alex an apology. She refused, saying she was just being “honest.”
After talking to Alex and thinking it over, I decided not to invite Emma to our wedding. She found out through our mom and called me, furious. She said I was being overly sensitive and punishing her for sharing her opinion.
She’s now got other family members involved, who are saying I’m tearing the family apart over a “petty disagreement.” My fiancé, says it’s my call, but I feel stuck. On one hand, I don’t want drama on our wedding day, but on the other, I’m wondering if I overreacted by cutting her out completely.
edebby said:
NTA. She wasn't "sharing her opinion" - she was trying to steer the pot deliberately.
Does she take you for a fool? Who in his right mind will come up with ancient and obsolete "opinions" so close to a wedding, unless they are childishly jealous and bitter of your relationship.
Maleficent_Grab612 said:
NTA. On a side note, your parents had nothing to say about your sister’s behavior towards a guest in their home?
Mobile_Following_198 said:
NTA. You can invite whomever you want to your wedding. It sounds like this was just one comment on top of years' worth of disagreements, though. Emma sounds like an awful pick-me. You're doing the right thing by supporting your partner. Abuse of your partner should not be tolerated.
C_Majuscula said:
NTA. "Just keeping it real" should have social consequences. She can't expect to insult someone and then turn around and expect to be invited to an event celebrating that person.
alien_overlord_1001 said:
NTA. Emma’s “opinion” is outdated and ridiculous, and says more about the internalized misogyny she is unaware of. If you are happy with the relationship and your finances then that is all. Emma needs to shut up. No one asked her for her thoughts.
buttercupgrump said:
NTA. Ask Emma why she even cares about attending the wedding. After all, she's the one saying your fiancé only wants you for money. Why would she want to celebrate that?
t3hq said:
NTA it's your day and if she is interested in coming and valuing family bond so much, she might as well simply apologize.