Bride bans sister from wedding after she makes fun of fiancé's job. AITA? 'I didn't find it funny.'
"AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding after she made fun of my fiancé's job?"
My (28F) fiancé, Alex (30M), and I are getting married in a few months. We've been together for five years, and he's the love of my life. Alex is a talented artist who works as a freelance illustrator. He doesn't make a ton of money, but he's passionate about what he does, and I support him fully.
My sister, Emily (32F), has always had a more traditional outlook on careers. She works in finance and has been quite successful. Over the years, she's made several snide comments about Alex's job, calling it a "hobby" and implying that he's not ambitious enough. I usually let it slide because I know how she is, but it hurts both of us.
A few weeks ago, during a family dinner, Emily made a particularly harsh comment. She said, "I can't believe you're marrying a starving artist. Are you sure you want to spend your life supporting someone who can't even afford to buy you nice things?"
Alex was visibly upset, and I was furious. I told Emily that her comments were out of line and that she needed to respect our relationship. She shrugged it off as a joke, but I didn't find it funny at all.
After that, I started to reconsider inviting Emily to our wedding. I don't want any negativity on our special day, and I know she'll probably say something rude or judgmental. So, I decided not to invite her.
When Emily found out, she was livid. She accused me of overreacting and said that I was choosing a man over my own sister. My parents are upset too and think I'm being too harsh, but they don't understand how hurtful her words have been. Now I'm wondering if I went too far. AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding because of her comments about my fiancé's job?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Jamison945 said:
NTA. I absolutely agree she will find a way to ruin your big day. If you addressed this issue with her previously, that should have been the end of it (and she should have apologized to all present for her rude comment).
I am also bothered that your family has never called her out for these comments. Instead, they defend them. I almost think you should disinvite them too. Tell sis you only get married once and you are not going to risk her acting out. And even SEEING her would sour your mood. End of conversation. Done and dusted.
DutchDaddy85 said:
NTA. Clearly she doesn't respect your future husband for the choices he makes, so why should she have any right to be there celebrating your love? "She shrugged it off as a joke, but I didn't find it funny at all." Ask her to explain the joke. Ask her to explain exactly what about what she said is funny.
Par3atAugusta said:
NTA - if it really was a joke she'd apologize for it and overwhelmingly tell you she didn't mean it.
_Indiana_J0nes_ said:
Second time I've had to say this today! You invite people to your wedding who are there to support your union and witness your vows as you start your married life. There's no obligation to invite anyone else. NTA.
DoubleExpert5386 said:
NTA - She is consistently rude to you, him, and the relationship.
Miserable_Dentist_70 said:
I came in here expecting to go the other way, but NTA. You're totally right, she would be saying this sh$% at your wedding. To other guests. Nope.
Kutleki said:
NTA. She clearly has no respect for your fiance or you, I wouldn't invite her either. However, you shouldn't EVER have been just letting this go. You should have stood up for your fiance and put a stop to it from the beginning.