Bride bans sister's kids from wedding, 'she let them destroy my engagement gifts.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my sister she can’t bring her kids to my wedding after she let them destroy my engagement gifts?"
I (27F) got engaged earlier this year to my fiancé (29M), and we’re planning our wedding for next spring. I’m thrilled about this new chapter in my life, but my older sister (34F) is making things really difficult.
For some context, my sister has three kids (10M, 7F, 3F), and they can be… a handful. I love them, but she doesn’t do much to discipline them. At my engagement party, they completely wrecked the gifts I received.
One of them spilled juice all over a photo book my best friend had made for me, another ripped open a wrapped gift out of “curiosity,” and the youngest knocked over a cake stand. My sister just laughed it off, saying, “Kids will be kids!”
I was furious, but I didn’t want to cause a scene at the time.
Afterward, I talked to her privately and asked her to be more mindful of her kids’ behavior at future events. She got defensive and told me I was being uptight and that “life with kids is messy.”
Now that we’re planning the wedding, I’ve told her that we want a child-free ceremony to avoid any disruptions. She’s furious, saying I’m excluding her family and making her feel unwelcome. She even accused me of being jealous because I don’t have kids yet.
My parents are siding with her, saying I should be more understanding and that “family comes first.” But honestly, I just want to enjoy my wedding without worrying about another disaster caused by her kids. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ladyrrosy said:
Nah, you’re not the a-hole. It’s your wedding, not a daycare. Her kids already caused chaos at your engagement party, so setting boundaries is fair. If she can’t handle that, that’s on her. You deserve to enjoy your day stress-free!
SorrelSpice said:
NTA! there's a thin line between 'kids will be kids' and being undisciplined, and hers are undisciplined! Go have your wedding day the way you want OP.
AndreaAura said:
NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Kids are great and all, but if they’re mini tornadoes at events, it’s totally fair to want your big day to be chaos-free. Maybe your sis needs a reminder that weddings are about the couple's happiness, not the guest lists.
mphflame said:
NTA. She should have been billed for the destruction her kids caused. Each and every time at each and every event. Maybe she would learn that no, kids don't HAVE to be kids. They can be taught at a young age appropriate behaviors.
kcpirana said:
NTA. Your wedding day isn’t about her, her kids, or even family. It’s your day and your fiancé’s day - period. Tell her it’s a child-free wedding, it’s not negotiable, and she can do what she likes, but children are not invited.