Bride calls sister 'selfish' for boycotting 'unfair' child-free wedding; AITA?

Child-free weddings are often a sore subject in families, as many parents expect their children to invited regardless of how much they cry during the vows...

Regardless of how adorable your child might look in a tiny flower girl dress, kids can also find a way to ruin a very special (and expensive) day. So, when a conflicted bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about the age limit for her wedding, people were ready to judge.

AITA for telling my sister to stop being selfish after she said she won't come to my wedding, because her younger kids aren't invited?

My wedding is coming up towards the end of the year. We don't want noisy kids running around the place and also money reasons, me and my fiance decided that our wedding will be 13 and up.

One of my (34F) sisters 'Tammy' (38F) has 3 kids (16F, 9M, 7F). My 16 yo niece is invited, but the 9 yo and 7 yo aren't.

Tammy didn't take this well and pretty much went off at me. We do have one exception to this, my FBIL's son who's 11 (12 at the wedding).

Tammy tried using that as an 'example' and also said her 16 yo is invited, but I told her that's because she's over 13 and my niece too.

She did seem to understand and calmed down, but recently told me she won't be coming because of this. On top of that, my niece is also saying she won't come because it's 'unfair.'

Me and Tammy had a huge argument over this and I told her to stop being selfish, my guest list is my guest list and she's acting like she's doing the world a huge favor.

She got really upset with me and we haven't talked since then. I didn't apologize to her. My other sister is telling me I was an a&s for saying that to Tammy. AITA?

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in here. Here's what people had to say...

SpoonLightning said:

YTA. If you decide to have a childfree wedding, you can't be mad at parents for not coming because their child can't come.

FreshwaterOctopus said:

YTA. You can have whatever rules you want for your wedding, but you need to be prepared that those rules may mean that some people will choose not to attend.

DrummingChopsticks said:

Your wedding, your rules. But definitely YTA for saying what you said. You didn’t have to explain yourself at all. You could have been graceful about it and say “got it, you’ll be missed.” Instead you told her she’s selfish. Own up to it.

anonymous_for_this said:

YTA It’s an invitation, not a summons. The no-kids part makes it more difficult to arrange, so your seater has declined. A little more grace on both sides would have been nice, but both of you are upset and I’m not going to gong either party for that. Ultimately you aren’t taking no for an answer. For that, YTA.

Motherlove84 said:

YTA. You can invite or not invite whoever you want to your wedding but when you choose to invite some members of a family but not others you have no right to get upset or call people selfish if some people choose not to attend because some of their family is not invited.

And it is unfair that you are making an exception by inviting your future nephew who is under 13 but not making an exception for your own niece and nephew. If your wedding is 13 and up no child under the age of 13 should be invited.

Pyziulka said:

YTA for telling her she is selfish. She is not - she just decided that she won't go if all her kids aren't invited. You don't have to invite them! But respect her decision! You can have whatever rules you want at your wedding but prepare that people may opt out.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this bride is 100% in the wrong about this. Insisting on a child-free wedding is completely understandable as it is your day, but bending the rules for some people and shaming parents for RSVPing no is 'zilla territory.