Bride cancels wedding on the morning-of the big day, 'I was questioning everything.' AITA?

"AITA for cancelling my wedding?"

My possibly soon to be ex (m28) and I (f25) were due to be married less than a week ago. We are very untraditional and spent the night before together, just talking and reminiscing on what got us to that point. I’ve always known he is bi, and it’s never been an issue, it’s just who he is.

We have a very close knit group of friends, and he and his best friend grew up together and were one another’s support system throughout university. He’s been very open about all this since I first met him.

However, one thing I wasn’t aware of is that they were involved, and that my possible-ex is still in love with him, and the feeling is mutual. I asked him if he’d cheated on me before, and he confessed to "a few slip-ups," but refused to go into detail.

The morning of the wedding I woke feeling sick and just totally overwhelmed and stressed. I was questioning everything that’s happened since we got together, and spoke to his best friend to confirm what I’d been told, which he did after an attempt to lie. I’ve cancelled the wedding and told him I need time to think, but I’m not sure I can get past the cheating.

I feel emotionally shattered. It’s only been a few days but his family and mine keep calling me trying to get me to feel guilty for my choice. We were paying for our wedding ourselves and it was a small, local affair, but I understand people might be disappointed that something they’ve waited for isn’t going to happen, possibly ever.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

Mental-Somewhere-120 said:

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or feels about it. This is your decision alone and you shouldn't be guilted into doing so. It's wild that he hid that from you at all but then to tell you on the night before your wedding? Be thankful this was before it was done so you can think about it before taking that plunge.

Cute-Profession9983 said:

Do the families know WHY? Because if they're blaming you, time to set the record straight, pun intended!

FartMasterChamp said:

NTA. You dodged a huge bullet. If you take him back, he will cheat again. If any of your families is trying to guilt trip you, tell them the truth and then block them. You're going through a rough time and even though this was a difficult decision it was the correct one.

He's cheated on you multiple times and will continue to do so if you stay. Surround yourself with supportive people and be proud of yourself. You saved yourself from marrying a cheater.

AussieOyyy said:

NTA your bf wasn't completely honest with you.

Initial-Shop-8863 said:

NTA. The issue here is not that he is bi. The issue might not even be that you would like your marriage to be closed and exclusive to only the two of you. The issue is that he cheated on you, hid it, betrayed you, and probably expected to continue doing so. You are the only one who can decide if this is a relationship breaker for you, now and forever.

If, now that you know, you don't mind sharing, it's not a deal-breaker. If you don't want to share, then you can't marry this man. As for what you tell your family or others if you choose not to marry him and to walk away permanently, if it were me I would just tell them that you both realized he's in love with someone else.

Competitive_Milk8770 said:

NTA it is your decision, nobody else's. If he's done it more than once, he will continue. He's already admitted to being in love with someone else.