I (26F) had a bachelorette party on Saturday. It was a homely affair as I am not the type to go out on the town to get drunk. It was a dinner for people I know and their guests at the church recreation centre which my parent spent a good deal of money on to make it seem nice. It was followed by gift opening.
At this party one of my friends brought Helen. Someone I am not close to but she is in the "friend group." About two years ago I slowly started to distance myself from her as she has shown some jealous tendencies that she masks as others being jealous of her.
She is two years older than me. I have never liked her but you have to respect the pluss one of your guests even though she wasn't on the RSVP list. Or at least that is what my mother thaught me.
During the gift opening she made some remarks about how so and so decided to wear the same shoes as her because she gets copied a lot for her fashion sense.
Made a remark about "cheap extenions" another guest wore, thought the skirt of my 18 year old niece was to short as children shouldn't wear slutty clothing and it's not lady like to show skin (she herself was wearing a thigh length silver dress with sequins and open back). I took Siobhan aside as it was her guest and told her to keep her under control. She promised she would.
When we cleared the floor for dancing instead of helping she went around and pulled down my "ratty decorations." I asked her politely to leave if this wasn't her scene. She turned around and accused me of taking her leftovers as she said she had hooked up with Andrew (my fiance's name is Michael, Andrew is his three year older brother).
She patted my stomach and said, yup you are pregnant, why else would I be getting married before her? She even made a comment about me waiting to the last year of her secondary school to get taller than her to steal away all the boys' attention to spite her (I am 5'5, and she is 5'0. I had a growth spurt and it's not something I could control). She picked at my hairdo and said I even copied her hair color (it's my natural auburn that I have had all my life).
I didn't hit her but I did grab her by the hair to drag her towards the door as she kept knocking my hand away from her when I tried to grab her by the arm. That's when the wig came off. She ran out on her own crying.
AITAH for dragging her by the hair which caused her to be embarrased? My mother thinks I was not the best of hosts and that my generation is too individualistic to be hosting with manners. Siobhan said I should have let her come out of the toilet instead of dealing with it myself as Helen has been feeling down lately.
The guy she was with dumped her a few months ago after two years because he didn't want to get married, but Helen found out that he is getting married to the gf he has been with for two months. Of course that made the bitchy side rear it's head. Siobhan said I was quite insensitive.
NTA. That was epic.
NTA you are a champion.
NTA. You asked your friend to take control of the situation, which they clearly didn't. It wasn't just one incident, it was numerous remarks. You should be furious at the friend who brought Helen. There is no excuse for her behavior, the first remark should have been her last.
NTA. She got what she deserved. And to address your mom, her generation kicks people out for stuff all the time. Her generation just expects younger people to be more tolerant of rudeness because they want a generation they can walk all over.
Nta … she brought a lot of this on herself.