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Bride confronts cousin who 'stole' her dress the night before the wedding; AITA?

Bride confronts cousin who 'stole' her dress the night before the wedding; AITA?


It isn't a family wedding without a war between cousins, drama in the group chat, or a last minute change-the-date announcement right?

So, when a frustrated bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her cousin's elaborate heist to steal her wedding dress, people were dying for the juicy white lace-trimmed details with a side of beaded bodice.

AITA (Am I the Ash*ole) for confronting my cousin about stealing my dress the night before her wedding?

I’m (27f) getting married later this year and announced a tentative date a while ago. Seemingly out of no where, my cousin (28f) decided to get married exactly one week before I was planning to.

I have been trying on wedding dresses for the past couple months. My cousin’s mother asked to see some of the dresses I had tried on so my mother sent her a video of one of our final picks. I didn’t think much of it as I wanted my extended family to feel included.

A few weeks pass and I get a call from the boutique I had paid a deposit for my dress at. They inform me that my cousin and her mother had come to their store with the video of me in my dress and asked to get something exactly like it.

One of their sales associates sold them the exact same dress in a cream color instead of white (which was my dress’s color). The store owner was very apologetic and offered a refund since she realized two girls from the same family can’t wear the same dress—I will likely have a lot of the same guests at my wedding.

I was in disbelief and was hoping it was all a terrible mix up. I immediately messaged my cousin and casually asked to see the dress she purchased. For weeks she created stories about either not finding a dress or having it altered so she couldn’t show me. Finally, the night before her wedding, she invited my mom and I over for some last minute help.

Again, we asked to see her dress. She finally caved and brought it out. Of course, it was the exact same dress. I was extremely hurt and asked why she would go out of her way to steal my wedding dress knowing full well her wedding is before mine which means everyone would see it on her before me.

I said if she had spoken to me beforehand I might have chosen to let her have the dress but she went behind my back and chose to lie about it repeatedly.

Things got heated and I ended up leaving. I’m not sure if I even want to go to her wedding tomorrow after the stunt she and her mother pulled.

Everyone in my family thinks I overreacted and should have kept my mouth shut until after her wedding instead of creating animosity the night before her big day. AITA?

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this battle of the brides. Here's what people had to say:

3rdthrow said:

Hold the phone, Sister. She bought your dress and now your family is saying that YOU created the animosity. Your cousin and Aunt knew exactly what they were doing.

NTA… the question is, do you really want to talk to this person anymore? It’s not about the dress. It’s about the rotten way your family as treated you and then blamed you for getting angry at being mistreated.

tyleratx said:

NTA. This seems kinda insane on her part tbh. Your hurt is totally reasonable. I’m a straight boring dude who hates wedding culture. If her actions are obviously wrong to me then it’s pretty bad.

Odd-Satisfaction6243 said:

NTA. She lied and avoided confrontation for weeks. Your reaction was valid in my eyes. Things could have been different if she had shown you the dress earlier. She basically invalidated all your effort so close to your own wedding. Your family is toxic.

AgeLower1081 said:

NTA. You did not overreact. Your aunt and your cousin have a very low set of values and misplaced sense of competition. In other situations, I would usually side with keeping the drama low with the bride, but your cousin and her mother started creating the drama by:

1) scheduling the wedding on a date closely to yours and 2) selecting the same wedding dress as yours. I'm happy that the dress shop informed you of the duplicate sale (it's a shame that they weren't able to cancel the second sale to your cousin).

Please, when/if you and your partner decided to have kids, don't share any potential baby names until the ink is dry on on the birth certificate.

HolyUnicornBatman said:

NTA. This was clearly deliberately done, especially when they kept the dress hidden on purpose. I’m so sorry this happened. It’s 100% justifiable if you skip, especially with the way your family is reacting over the situation.

They realize that your aunt and cousin maliciously went to the same place, showed them your dress, and purchased the same one ON PURPOSE, right? I guess if one lesson is learned, it’s that your family is toxic and untrustworthy.

HistoricalHat3054 said:

NTA. How could anyone blame you for being upset? The fact your aunt and cousin avoided showing the dress to you for weeks says it all. They knew they were in the wrong.

Later, the post was edited to include:

EDIT: I accepted the refund and will be wearing a different, much more fabulous dress to my wedding.

My original post mentioned that the wedding date I announced was tentative. When my cousin went ahead and booked her wedding exactly a week before mine, I changed my date because it would be far too inconvenient for our family and friends to arrange clothes, transportation, hair/makeup, etc. back to back.

Some commenters think I should have confronted my cousin the second I found out about her stealing my dress—I did, but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt by having a conversation first.

She dodged showing me her dress for weeks, but by that point I had already returned my dress. I was only going to say something after I confirmed she did, in fact steal my dress. I didn’t want to make a scene if it turned out she didn’t actually copy me.

To the commenters saying it’s “just a dress”… my cousin will likely be sending her wedding photos to everyone in our extended family. At least 50% of my guests will be the same as hers so they definitely would have noticed if we wore the same dress and I would look like the imitator.

As much as I’d love to show up wearing the same dress to her wedding, I would definitely be exacerbating this whole ordeal. I should have known that after changing my wedding date to accommodate my cousin, she would have assumed I would accommodate all her other bs too.

I didn’t mention this in the original post as I wanted unbiased answers, but my cousin and her mom have copied me my whole life. Whether it’s buying similar clothes, copying my style, etc.

They NEVER compliment me yet copy everything I do. I wasn’t the one who sent them the video of my dress, my mom did. She assumed there was no way they would ever copy my dress.

The cousin and her mom are from my dad’s side of the family. I’m assuming that’s why my mom isn’t making as big of a deal as she should.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this bride wasn't at all wrong to confront her lying thief of a cousin. Luckily, the dress situation was solved. Good luck at all future family holidays, everyone...

Sources: Reddit
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