Bride confronts sister-in-law about 'inappropriate' and 'disrespectful' speech; AITA?
The worst thing that happens during wedding speeches is usually an R-rated, wildly inappropriate joke from the Best Man who is attempting stand up comedy for the first time during the reception...
What happens, though, when the groom's sister decides that her speech is the perfect opportunity to unpack years of unearthed drama? So, when a conflicted bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about an awkward moment at her wedding, people were eager to hear all the tea.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for standing up for myself on my wedding day?
I need some perspective on a situation that happened at my wedding last weekend. It involves my husband's sister Lisa (31F). We have never been too close because she is ultra Christian and I'm an atheist but things were never too bad between us until my wedding night.
The ceremony went perfectly but during the reception, my now sister-in-law kept making passive-aggressive comments to me about the wedding. She was complaining about the food, the music, the venue, and the decorations, and it was really starting to get under my skin.
I tried to brush it off and focus on enjoying my special day. I figured she was just in a foul mood since she was recently divorced, but she just wouldn't stop. I even asked my husband to talk to her about it but he said it wasn't a big deal and I was overreacting.
Then, during our first dance, Lisa came up and grabbed the microphone from the DJ and started giving a speech about how she and my husband used to be so close and how much she misses him and how much he changed since meeting me. How lonely she is now.
She was laying it on thick like she was mourning my husband or something. I have to admit, at this point I saw red. It was so inappropriate and disrespectful and it felt like she was trying to make the wedding about her instead of us.
I confronted her after the speech and told her that she was being disrespectful and that she needed to stop it. We got into a heated argument and it was really uncomfortable for everyone around us. Afterwards she stormed off and we didn't really see her again for the rest of the night.
After the wedding, my husband's family was upset with me for causing drama and ruining the mood of the reception. They think that I should have just let it go and not confronted Lisa about her behavior.
I feel like I was justified in standing up for myself and my husband on our special day. The mood was already ruined with her awkward speech interrupting my husband and I's first dance together.
My sister in law won't talk to me and my mother in law has been repeatedly calling me and demanding I apologize. My husband has not really been helpful either. He hates any kind of conflict especially with his mother. My own family is on my side.
So, am I the a*shole for causing drama with my sister-in-law at my wedding? Should I have just let it go and not said anything?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
Danny_Mc_71 said:
NTA. Do not apologize for this. Your husband needs to back you up.
C_Majuscula said:
NTA, but you are in for an interesting marriage if your husband is so conflict averse that he won't shame his sister for doing something so ridiculous during YOUR FIRST DANCE. Holy sh*t.
Curious_Cheek9128 said:
I hate families that enable bad behavior! NTA You have a real problem with your husband though.
walkyoucleverboy said:
If it happened exactly how you said it has then I’m flummoxed at the fact that anyone could defend your SIL. NTA.
Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind said:
NTA - I'd say you handled it pretty well... you showed restraint, in my opinion.