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Bride denies sister plus-one, bans her from wedding for insulting fiancé; AITA?

Bride denies sister plus-one, bans her from wedding for insulting fiancé; AITA?


Banning your own sister from your wedding day over a rude comment she made in the past is definitely petty, but is it really a wedding with a bit of family drama?

So, when a frustrated bride decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As#hole' about her sister's rude comment about her future husband, people were there to help weigh in.

AITA (Am I the As$hole) for Not Inviting My Sister to My Wedding After She Insulted My Fiancé?

I (28F) recently found myself in a tough situation regarding my upcoming wedding and my sister (25F). To give you some context, my sister and I have always had a complicated relationship.

We used to be close growing up, but as we got older, we started to drift apart due to our differing personalities and lifestyles.

My fiancé (30M) and I have been together for seven years, and he's honestly the love of my life. We got engaged six months ago, and the wedding planning has been in full swing.

Now, the issue arose during a family dinner a few weeks ago. My fiancé was there, and he was telling a story about a recent hiking trip he took. He's really into outdoor activities, and he was excitedly talking about climbing a challenging trail.

Out of nowhere, my sister made a snide comment, saying, 'It's surprising you actually did something that requires physical effort.' She said that and looked directly into my eyes.

Ever since, I started dating him, she made fun of me, for being with a more chubby man. Everyone at the table went silent, and I could see the hurt on my fiancé's face. He brushed it off, but I could tell he was hurt by her comment.

After the dinner, I confronted my sister privately about her hurtful remark. She dismissed it, saying it was just a joke and that my fiancé shouldn't be so sensitive.

This really upset me, as her comment felt like a direct attack on the person I love. I explained to her how important my fiancé is to me and how her words were hurtful.

Fast forward to a few days ago, I sent out wedding invitations to all our close family and friends. When my sister received her invitation, she texted me, asking if she could bring her new boyfriend of two months as her plus-one.

I thought about it and decided that, given the strained relationship between us, I would prefer to keep the wedding a more intimate affair with people who genuinely support our relationship.

I told my sister that we were having a small wedding and couldn't accommodate plus-ones for people we didn't know well. She didn't take it well.

She accused me of bad things, like not being happy for her, not wanting her to enjoy the day as much as I will.

After a while, I was full of her and told her she’s not invited anymore. I brought up the hurtful comment she made about my fiancé and how that played a role in my decision and that she doesn’t respect my boundaries. She got defensive and said I was overreacting.

Now she's been telling other family members that I'm being unreasonable and that I'm using her comment as an excuse to keep her out of the wedding.

Some family members have reached out to me, saying I should be the bigger person and invite her, regardless of the past drama.

So Reddit, AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding after she insulted my fiancé, or should I put the past aside and include her for the sake of family harmony?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this wedding mess...

Gorilla1969 said:

NTA. Interesting how your sister reacted badly to being called out for her actions twice (chubby comment and not accepting 'no' to +1), and yet you were oversensitive and overreacting. That's called projection. Your and your SO's feelings are normal and you don't need her to validate them.

uaretheuniverse said:

NTA. I plan on doing the same thing based on comments my sister made regarding my fiancé. It is you and your fiancés wedding. You should be able to invite who you want. You should be able to say no to an added plus one.

Again, it is you and your partner’s wedding. Who cares what over people think? If you and your fiancé do not want you sister or her plus one there, it’s as simple as that.

DesertSong-LaLa said:

NTA - Sister should have been the bigger person years ago after the first body shaming comment. She gets pleasure out of putting others down; not a positive vibe.

JeepersCreepers74 said:

NTA, but your family will never see it that way. Invite her and her plus one and put them at the kids' table where she belongs.

Sufficient_Pain_5724 said:

NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Your sister disrespected your reasonable boundaries, and was then flippant about it when you called her on it. Good on you for sticking up for your fiancé.

1-Dragonfly said:

Your fiancés feelings should mean more to you than your sisters. This day is for you two! Don’t contaminate it with negative energy… your NTA for for having her invite withdrawn.

Note to any sisters out there hoping to bring a date to their sister's wedding: maybe avoid insulting the groom? Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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