Bride doesn't invite 'extremely vocal' close friend to the wedding, 'I gave an excuse.' AITA?
"AITA for excluding my close friend from my wedding after she insulted my fiancé?"
I (30F) recently got married, and I decided not to invite one of my closest friends, "Mona" (31F), to my wedding. Here's the situation: When I got engaged, Mona was extremely vocal about how she didn’t like my fiancé.
She said he wasn’t "good enough for me" and made several negative remarks about his career and personality. I tried to brush it off at first, but it started to affect me. I felt like I had to defend my fiancé every time we spoke about him, and it created tension between us.
When it came time to plan the wedding, I thought long and hard about whether I should invite Mona. In the end, I decided it would be too awkward and uncomfortable to have her there, especially with her clear disapproval of my partner. Instead of telling her the truth, I gave the excuse that we were keeping the guest list small because of budget issues.
Mona found out through mutual friends that she wasn’t invited, and she confronted me. She said I was being unfair, that I should have put my friendship over my relationship, and that my decision showed I didn’t value her. She also claimed that I should’ve been able to handle a little criticism from her.
I’ve been feeling conflicted about whether I made the right call. AITA for excluding her from the wedding over her comments about my fiancé?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
mycurvypic said:
NTA. Your wedding, your choice. If she couldn’t respect your fiancé, she had no place there.
Environmental_Cat798 said:
NTA for not inviting her based on how she acted regarding your fiancé/husband. YTA for not being honest with “one of your closest friends” as to why.
ShadowSaiph said:
YTA for lying to her instead of telling her the truth, but you are NTA for not wanting her there. It sounds like this friendship is toxic and has run its course. It might be best to look at going LC or NC, especially if she does not respect your partner.
NefariousnessFresh24 said:
NTA - you did not put a two week fling over your friendship, but your marriage, the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with. You should have been up front about it and not lied to her as to why you did not invite her, but this person is not your friend. You did right by not inviting her.
2npac said:
ESH...your "closest friend" should be able to express concerns about your partner to you. But she needs to know when to stop and let you make your own decision. You also should be able to be honest with your "closest friend" and tell her truth about why she's not being invited to your wedding. Since she couldn't your marriage to your partner, she shouldn't want to witness the union anyways.
ReaderReacting said:
You excluded her and lied to her. This isn’t someone whose friendship you value so why are you still focused on her? I mean you didn’t expect your actions to lead to a continued friendship, did you? NTA...just not sure why you care.