Bride expects SIL to pay $600 portion of bachelorette party she can't attend; AITA?

While bridesmaids usually are in charge of planning a bachelorette party or bridal shower, should they have to pay for a trip they're not even on?

The Venmo request chain of doom can be a nightmare when you agree to be in a bridal party. So, when a delusional and entitled bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her sister-in-law's portion of the bachelorette party, people were eager to hear the gossip.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for expecting SIL to still pay her share of the bachelorette party?

I am getting married in a few weeks, my bachelorette party is this weekend. We will be spending the weekend out at the wineries and other activities. My soon to be husband's younger sister is one of my bridesmaids.

A few weeks ago when we were discussing the bachelorette party she informed us she wouldn't be coming on it. She gave no real reason other then she didn't know anyone very well and didn't want to take days off work, pretty much she just doesn't want to come.

After everything was booking it came to about $600 a person. My maid of honor sent SIL a Venmo request for her portion since she is still part of the wedding party. SIL sent a message to the group text confused as to why she would be expected to pay.

We informed her that as part of the wedding party it's expected to help pay for the bachelorette. She didn't have a real reason she couldn't come, she just doesn't want to. That doesn't get her off the hook for the responsibilities she signed up for.

Now that the trip is tomorrow the other bridesmaids are pissed they had to pull out money to cover SIL portion.

I sent her a message explaining what comes along with the being a bridesmaid and asking her to please sent my MOH the money because she is putting a downer on the weekend and ruining it.

I have not heard back and the bridesmaids are super pissed they are out money.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:

Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 said:

YTA. She told you in time she would not be coming. And what the fuck are you doing that costs 600 dollars per person?!

MiseryMeow said:

Perhaps she chose not to come because she can’t afford to pay $600. People do need to buy food and pay bills. It’s also weird that you made your bridesmaids cover the difference. You shouldn’t be planning things that YOU can’t afford. YTA.

I_am_Morgana_le_Fae said:

YTA. If she's not going to the bachelorette party, there is 0 reason she should have to pay. And $600??? Each??? Wtf?

Responsible_Lawyer78 said:

YTA. No good reasons?? Are you serious?? She gave you like 3 really good reasons why she didn't want to go. Why would she pay 'her share' when she's not going??? You sound so entitled and clueless.

chuckinhoutex said:

YTA- EXPECTING anybody to pay for anything associated with YOUR wedding is entitlement. Get over yourself. It's not a contest to see how much people value you so you can get pissed when they don't hit the mark you set.

_mmiggs_ said:

YTA. No, agreeing to be in the wedding party does not mean agreeing to come to your bachelorette party, let alone agreeing to pay for part of it without going.

I don't see anywhere in your post where you say that whoever organized the bachelorette party invited her, and she accepted. It looks like you made a big fat unwarranted assumption.

lellyla said:

YTA, lol this is so entitled it's funny. Do your friends pay for your cinema too if you invite them and they say no? She said a timely no, she doesn't need a reason that you understand, and she shouldn't pay.

WaywardPrincess1025 said:

YTA. No, this person does not have to subsidize your part of the Bach. Jesus. She told you she wasn’t going, she doesn’t have to pay a dime.

Sunny_Hill_1 said:

YTA. She is not coming, why is she expected to pay? What responsibilities? She is not financially responsible for any part of your bridal celebration unless she is actually taking part in it.

By being a bridesmaid she is doing YOU a favor, as bridesmaids are expected to buy a matching outfit, do their hair and makeup to a higher standard than a regular guest, and perform certain functions at the actual wedding day.

You are being extremely entitled if you expect her to cover for your bachelorette if she isn't even going.

youserneighmn said:

YTA, never heard of something so ludicrous. Accepting a bridesmaid spot doesn’t automatically ‘sign you up’ to paying for other people’s trips.

$600 is fine for a trip if you’re well off and can drop that kind of money for a one off event, but the average person doesn’t have that kind of money lying around to spend on something they haven’t chosen to do.

Also, it’s not tradition for the wedding party to pay for the bachelorette, at most the other hens chip in to cover the bride’s portion but only if they are also attending the trip.

The_bookworm65 said:

YTA. Money could have been the issue in the first place but she was embarrassed to admit it. I personally hate bachelor/ette weekends!

Educational-Glass-63 said:

YTA. She is under no obligation to pay for other people to party. Very entitled of you and your friends to think otherwise.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed hilariously unanimously here that this bride is 100% and laughably in the wrong here. Nobody should be forced to pay for a trip they never had any intention of attending, and it's not anywhere in the bridal party law to split the bill regardless. This bride needs to take a deep breath and get grip. Good luck, everyone!