Bride forces her mother to change outfits at wedding, 'YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT.' AITA?

"AITA for not letting my mom wear white to my wedding even though she 'promised not to outshine me?'"

So, I (28F) recently got married to my partner of 6 years. The wedding was beautiful and mostly stress free. except for one issue that still weighs on me. Before the wedding, I had one simple request for all guests: no white or cream outfits, pretty standard, right?

I reminded my mom (55F) several times, because she's always had a flair for the dramatic and tends to view herself as a "main character." She laughed it off and said, “Relax, I know better than to wear white to your big day.”

Well, the day comes and she shows up in an ivory lace dress that looked almost exactly like a wedding gown. Like, floor length, sparkly accents, the whole nine yards. The only real difference was that it didn’t have a train. I was stunned. My bridesmaids kept asking if she had a backup dress. One even whispered, “Is your mom doing a vow renewal after yours?”

I pulled her aside before the ceremony and said, “You can’t wear that, Mom. I asked you not to. It looks way too bridal.” She got defensive and said, “This is champagne, not white. And anyway, it’s YOUR day. No one’s looking at me.”

I stood firm and said she needed to change. I had a backup dress ready just in case (I know my mom…), and I handed it to her. She cried. Full on tears. Said I was humiliating her and accused me of trying to control her.

She did eventually change, but she was cold to me the rest of the day. Since the wedding, she’s barely spoken to me. My aunt says I overreacted and should’ve “let her have her moment” since she raised me alone and this day was emotional for her too.

I get it. I do. But I also feel like she made my wedding day weirdly about her. AITA for not letting my mom wear a bridal-style dress to my wedding even if she said she wasn't trying to steal the spotlight?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Adorable_Pollution51 said:

NTA, good for you to know her too well to have a backup plan. She is not speaking to you? Good, drop the rope. The moment you stop giving her attention, she's gonna make noise about that. Take a break and focus on your marriage.

LeaJadis said:

NTA - Your mom is humiliating and manipulative.

NotAgainHel15 said:

She should have had "her moment" on YOUR wedding day? NTA, a wedding is about the bride and groom (or bride and bride/groom and groom). Not about random family members. Good for you for thinking to have a "back up dress!"

Rough_Start_5396 said:

NTA. I’m so confused by your aunt saying you should have let your mom “have her moment." What moment? It wasn’t her wedding day it was yours. Of all the shades and colors available why did your mom go out of her way to pick a dress that sounds incredibly bridal? Even if you hadn’t said anything prior to the wedding she would still be TA.

MMMindubi said:

NTA. Sounds like if she's not talking to you that is a win-win situation. Let it stand and leave her out of your life!

Impossible_Smile4113 said:

NTA. The fact that you had a backup dress ready says everything. You must be used to this kind of self-centered, manipulative behavior. Good for you for standing up to your mom.

Well-Done22 said:

NTA. Your mom has issues and wore them to your wedding. You were right to push back. And yes, she was trying to steal the spotlight. People don't pull stunts like that for any other reason.

Traveling-Techie said:

Let her have her moment” — WTF? On the one day of your life that is definitely not her moment? (Did she wear a cap and gown to your graduation? You may have to hire security if you give birth, to keep her from live streaming it.) NTA.