Bride kicks best friend out of her wedding; husband says; 'You're overreacting.' AITA?
"AITA For kicking my best friend out of my wedding?"
I (27F) just got married a couple days ago. I have a couple good friends, one of them I'll mention as Sophia (27F). We have been good friends for a while now since we shared a dorm in college. She's always been a bit annoying though.
She always tries to make herself seem better than everyone else. I always thought I was the only one who saw this in her and never directly told anyone about it. There have been past situations that make me feel this way, but I digress.
On the day of the wedding I was, of course, super stressed. We had a problem with our catering service. Thankfully we got it all sorted out. After the ceremony I went to go see Sophia and some other friends. I was shocked when I saw her wearing a white dress. Yes, it did have some flowers on it, but still!
It was enough white to be too much. I was pissed. I quickly pulled her to the side and told her to get out. A couple days before the wedding she also was talking about how me and my now husband shouldn't be together. (she said this to one of our other friends, who told me).
I knew it was a bad idea having her here but I didn't think she would wear white. She eventually left and my husband was telling me that I overreacted.
Now I'm contemplating everything. I feel like I did overreact a bit but I feel what I did was right. She was being selfish and wanted to outshine me. Do I want her back as my friend? No. I feel like I also kicked her out in a good way, I didn't scream at her or make a big scene.
But I don't know, maybe it was just the previous events or stress that made me feel this way. Isn't it proper etiquette to not wear white to a wedding? Literally why are you trying to outshine me? Which I know, it's crazy, "why outshine me" but it's ME and MY HUSBAND'S big day! NOT YOURS!
Let's see what readers had to say:
lovebac5 writes:
NTA. Her wearing a white dress to your wedding was the proverbial last straw that broke the camel's back. Things had been on a low simmer for quite some time and the pot finally boiled over.
I'm not calling you a pot, mind you! But you handled it well, no screaming, just asked her to leave. Good job! And congrats on your wedding!
jedag writes:
ESH. She definitely shouldn't be wearing anything white to a wedding and shouldn't be trashing your partner, assuming it was a bad faith comment and not a genuine criticism/concern.
That said, a lot of this just isn't adding up to me. She's your best friend and a "good friend" but also she's "always been annoying" and now you're completely happy to cut her out of your life??
Also, to be frank, wearing white at a wedding is rude, but it's not "you're clearly showing me up and deserve to be told to get the hell out" level of rude.
Deciding to cut contact or not being friends with her is one thing, but kicking her out was probably a bit much.
agah878 writes:
ESH…. Do you really think someone in a white dress is actually going to outshine the bride? Also, what is this mentality where the bride has to outshine everyone? Shouldn’t it be about the couple and just being happy you’re married to the love of your life?
I don’t think I would notice or care if someone else wore white… maybe an actual wedding dress but a white dress with flowers… who cares?! Just sounds like it’s more who it was who did it and that’s why it bothered you.
aganren writes:
YTA. Yes your friend is weird but like calm down. No need to make a scene. She embarrassed herself by wearing that anyway. Let her humiliate herself.
vacatnt writes:
Yep. Wth was she doing at your wedding? Above you say she's a person in your group of friends that you 'just tolerate'. Hardly somebody I'd invite to my wedding. You sound like you infact feel threatened by this woman. If that is because of your husband, you shouldn't have married him.
As for the dress. Urgh I hate weddings for reasons like this. OK yes it's not the done thing for a guest to wear white bla bla bla. But on your special day what's done is done and I don't see why some people put so much emotion and headspace into details like this when they should be concentrating on the matter at hand.
Your marriage, the celebration of your marriage, enjoying each other and making it memorable. Why you took the time to beeline for someone to tell them to get the hell out because of what they were wearing I do not know. Priorities. People. Please