Me (31f) and my husband (32m) just got married last month, and it has been the best thing we’ve ever done. That excluding the interaction I had with my sister. On my wedding day, it started off great.
Everyone was happy, food was great, and I was the happiest woman alive, except we had a sober wedding, and my sis (24f) was being a little secretive, but I ignored it.
(Just to explain, we had a sober wedding because I used to have a toxic relationship that ended and led me to become an alcoholic for 4+ years, before I got sober thanks meeting my husband at a coffee shop one day and we clicked right away. We exchanged numbers where I opened up, we ended up going on a date, and he has helped me get sober, and I’ve been the happiest I’ve been.)
My sister does drink, but she knew it was a sober wedding and said she would respect that and not drink until the after party where there would be alcohol, since a lot of the people going drank. I was having a blast at my wedding, dancing, eating, and spending time with my husband, until someone on my husband's side came over and asked where the alcohol was.
I was confused and just said it was a sober wedding, and I was more confused with every person who asked me. So I asked, why does everyone keep asking where the alcohol is, since it LITERALLY says on the back of the invite that it’s a sober wedding. Which they replied with “oh, your sister is telling everyone, talking out how y’all got “the good stuff." I lost it.
I stormed over there and confronted my sister who was drinking and taking shots until I walked over there, and the second she saw me, she literally threw the shot glasses under the table. I asked what was going on and why she was drinking, which she replied with “oh I’m sorry I just get so tempted and it’s just 1 drink calm down.”
I didn’t want to be a bridezilla, even though it was obvious she had multiple drinks, but I gave her a second chance, and just told her to put the alcohol away. About an hour later though, I saw my sister fall, and everyone including myself ran to go see if she was okay since it seemed like she fell hard.
I went over and asked if she was okay, where in a drunk tone she stood up, spun around and said, “see. I’m FINEuuhh." After everyone went away, I took her to the room where all the bridesmaids and I got ready, and lost it.
I told her how hard I tried to be nice and caring but I couldn’t take it anymore. I gave her a second chance, and this wasn’t the first time she has done this type of stuff but that she can’t keep doing this stuff and that it was childish behavior. I told her she needs to leave since she was causing a disturbance and being downright disrespectful to me and my husband, and she has ignored me ever since.
My parents sided with my sis which I wasn’t surprised about since I have always been the black sheep in the family, and they are now saying that I need to personally apologize to me sister for being rude, misunderstanding, and a bridezilla, but my husband and friends say I’m doing the right thing and that they would have done the same. I feel bad and I don’t know what to do. AITA?
Successful_Ask_2636 said:
Ugh, no way, your sister was totally out of line! It was YOUR wedding, your rules about it being sober. She knew that and disrespected you big time. It's not about being a bridezilla, it's about her being inconsiderate on a really important day for you. You def did the right thing!
AccordingNectarine35 said:
Not the AH at all. You set clear boundaries for your sober wedding, and your sister blatantly disrespected them. It’s not bridezilla behavior to expect people to respect your choices on your special day. She had multiple chances and still acted irresponsibly. You had every right to ask her to leave. Stay strong!
rainbowbunniexoxo said:
NTA. You set clear boundaries for your sober wedding, and your sister disrespected that. It’s not about being a bridezilla, it’s about respecting your wishes and the reason behind the wedding being sober in the first place.
She acted selfishly and ignored the rules, and you gave her a second chance. You did what you had to do for your day. Your parents should be supporting you, not enabling her behavior. Stand your ground, girl.
montauk6 said:
NTA and I would imagine that part of your recovery involves removing toxic people from your life. Lean on your new husband, sounds like a keeper.
TrillTierJakal said:
NTA, you made it clear with the invites it was a sober wedding. If she couldn't just hold back enough to wait for the after party then she needed to not be there. Your family siding with her also needed to not be there (if they already weren't) if anything she needs a reality check and need to seek help.
I myself drink alot but I can at least respect someone's wishes to not do it during a time they requested to not do it. She's the AH here.
Euphoric_Artist8931 said:
NTA. She broke your trust and disrespected your boundaries. You gave her a chance, she messed up. You’re not wrong.