Bride plans Halloween wedding on a Friday night. AITA? 'I've warned my family since I was 12.'
"AITA for having my wedding on a Friday and Halloween at that?"
My fiance (22M) and I (24F) We are having our wedding on Halloween next year. It is a Friday and to us, that was okay. I had a venue picked out but I recently found another one that I have just fell in love with. Like cried when seeing it kind of love.
The venue is about 2 1/2 hours from us and about 2 hours from my dad and siblings. My dad is not happy that we might decide on this venue. They are all still in elementary school so my step mom said I couldn't have my wedding before school got out for the day since the little kids have their halloween parties in school that day.
So at first my fiance and I were okay with a wedding at 4:30 or 5pm that evening. Well then she said would couldn't have it to late as they need to go trick or treat. Now listen I get kids love to go trick or treating like I used to.
But here is my problem now. I have found the venue of my dreams that is 2 hours away from them and now if I choose to have my wedding there and not closer (within 45 minutes of a drive for them) they will not show up. One of my sisters is my MOH and is almost 17 so she is not going to be there now if I choose this venue.
I told my dad that I would buy the kids all the candy in the world if they could just skip the parties and trick or treating for one year to celebrate my fiancé's and I wedding. They still said no since the kids will want to trick or treat more. Mind you they go to about 10 different trick or treats and church festivals before halloween for the kids.
My grandma is also saying she has an issue with it due to her not being able to drive at night. I told her we could make accommodations such as someone else driving her or she can drive to the wedding then go stay at my aunt's house who lives about 30ish minutes from the venue. She still think it's too far as does my dad (probably my step mom as she controls everything he does or says).
So am I the ahole? I would like to add that I have warned my family since I was like 12 that I would have my wedding on Halloween. They said that was awesome and they couldn't wait that was like 12 years ago.
I have talked about it every year how I couldn't wait to find the one to have a Halloween weeding with. We don't have enough time to plan it for this year plus it's a Thursday this year. We also can't have it in 2026 as my fiancé's step sister is having hers that day.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
extinct_diplodocus said:
NAH as long as you're willing to accept the consequences. You can plan you wedding for any place or date you wish. You simply have to understand that some people won't be able to make it. People have told you about the conflicts with the date and time. As long as you don't try to push them to attend and are willing to accept the lower attendance, you're fine.
IamIrene said:
NAH. You can have your wedding wherever you want but you can't require family/friends to attend, especially if it conflicts with their plans. Alternatively, if having your marriage recorded on October 31st is very important to you and you want family/friends to all be there...
Maybe do a Halloween themed courthouse wedding on the 31st with those who can be there but then follow up with a full-blown wedding/reception on the next day, Saturday, November 1st, at the venue of your choice at the time you want.
Halloween is going to be that entire weekend anyway. You'd get the anniversary date you want, the venue you want, and your family/friends in attendance plus the themed photos etc. and the entire day to enjoy it all. It's just a thought.
FunBodybuilder4620 said:
NAH. You are free to have the wedding whenever/wherever you want. People are free to say they won’t attend for whatever reason. I do think you have forgotten what it is like to be a kid. Parties at school and trick or treating with their friends are important to them. I also think you are inconveniencing people who work who now have to leave early to drive 2.5 hours to your wedding.
SkyComplex2625 said:
NAH - you picked a date that isn’t going to work for a lot of people and an inconvenient location. As long as you are fine with no one attending who has kids or Halloween traditions, have at it.
YearOneTeach said:
NAH, or maybe NTA. You are considering putting your wedding on a holiday and expecting them to travel (although a pretty short distance), so you have to accept that people may not attend. I think they are AH's for putting Halloween above a wedding, but that's just my personal view. I like Halloween, but I wouldn't skip someone's wedding over it.
If you want them to attend, you could pick a different day since you haven't booked it yet. Or, you could forget them entirely and just plan the wedding you want and invite the people you really want to attend. It just depends on how much it means to you that they're there.
Ultimately it's an invitation and you can't make them attend, but I also feel like you shouldn't plan your wedding around everyone else's demands.
Select-Anxiety-1557 said:
NAH as long as you are willing to accept that your wedding will have barely any family or even a MOH. But hey, if holding it on Halloween is that important to you...