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Bride plans to tell wedding planner friend what her assistant did at her wedding, 'he could be fired.' AITA?

Bride plans to tell wedding planner friend what her assistant did at her wedding, 'he could be fired.' AITA?

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"WIBTA if I tell my wedding planner friend what her assistant did at my wedding?"

I am 27 F and married my best friend 28 M about a month ago. One of my good friends is a wedding planner and I used her company for the coordinating. She was a guest at the wedding but had 3 other people from her company work with my husband and I.

They were amazing. The whole wedding went perfectly. Not a single complaint about the job the company did. One of the assistants was this guy who looked to be about my age. I didn’t give it much thought.

This past weekend, I hung out with my friend Clara (25 F). This is the first time we are seeing eachother since my wedding. Clara told me a “funny story” about my wedding. She said a few days after my wedding she received an Instagram follow and message from someone she didn’t know. The gist of the message was that it was from the assistant coordinator at my wedding.

He pretty much said that he was working and couldn’t say anything, but he noticed her at the wedding and thought she was really beautiful and he wanted to ask her on a date. She asked how he found her and he “proudly” said that he noticed her, looked up the seating chart of the table she was seated at for dinner, and looked up every girl at the table until he found her.

She said she wasn’t comfortable with that and blocked him. She told me it was funny in hindsight but at the time she was a little uncomfy. Clara did emphasize to me she didn’t think it was a big deal.

Would I be an ahole if I told my wedding planner friend about what happened? She will most likely report him to the head of the company and maybe he will or maybe he won’t be fired. I don’t know if I’m being vindictive or not. It doesn’t sit right that we paid a guy to do a job and he ended up stalking and DMing my friend.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Sea-Wolf-1312 said:

NTA, and lot of people would have an issue with a stranger using his company to find your PRIVATE, personal information. Dude could have walked up and asked at the end of the wedding to be less creepy but decided to illegally get a women's information instead.

One_Thousand_Winds said:

NTA, and frankly, he needs to be reported. What if he was a dangerous individual and he did that? This was a serious breach of trust and privacy, and your guests expected to feel safe, not chatted up by some creepy guy after the wedding.

IamIrene said:

YWNBTA. He pretty much stalked your friend. That is strange all on it's own. That he did it using company information? I would say at the very least that's a write up and possible firing offense. He put your friend's company at legal risk with is actions. Your friend deserves to know what kind of person works for her and the level of risk he opens the company up to.

Gnome_Chomsky- said:

NTA - that's the equivalent of working at a retail store with a membership discount card program, thinking a customer is cute, and using the membership database to get their phone number to ask them out. Absolutely inappropriate and a massive misuse of customer data which is EXACTLY what happened when he used the seating chart with all the names of guests to look her up on Instagram.

Queasy-Trash8292 said:

NTA. Tell her!!!! I’m sure in no way does she want to employ someone who does this. That is a huge breech of trust.

advisory-council said:

NTA. You absolutely should let her know. She can decide where it goes from there. He didn't just think she was hot and do some Instagram sleuthing through tagged photos on your page or whatever to find her. He used insider information that he had access to due to his job to ID her. Very different and much creepier.

Sources: Reddit
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